These are actual conversations between michael and Jeanie and you - names have been omitted to protect your privacy but the situations discussed are so common we decided to post your questions and our responses for others to read!
Click on the topic below to jump directly to the question in the article, or simply scroll down to read them all!
Anger - What do you recommend? My anger is taking over.
Aramaic Translation - What is happening with the Aramaic translation you referrence? Is it a literal "word for word" translation into English?
BeAtitudes - In your translation of the BeAtitudes, why is the 8th one ommited?
Bible Translation Protocol - There is a Protocol when it comes to translating the Bible.
Cancel Goal Pain - Question regarding cancelling goals and is it possible that there is physical pain involved in this healing?
Carbon Base Memory - I don't understand why I don't do what I really want to do. Why don't I follow my choices?
Dad Daughter Issue - A lady who had “men” issues in her life. After some in-depth discussion we decided she needed to do some work around her dad and herself. (This goes for men with “women” issues – look back at relationship with mom.)
Desperate and Confused - A man who was pleading for relief from his life, he was on the brink of suicide. He had no previous introduction to michael’s work so the response contains a lot of explanation/detail of why and how forgiveness works.
Do Worksheets Work on Deep Issues? - Can the worksheets in and of themselves really "remove" emotional pain that is deep and imbedded and of many years?
Filters - Explain the filters in the mind - over intentions and perceptions.
Healing Crisis - I've been doing more conscious work using your worksheets and the commitment in the past 2 weeks, mainly on my own around stuff that comes up with my partner,and I've been having all sorts of physical symptoms.
HeartLand Support Team Commitment- Correspondence between michael and a member on HeartLand's Support Team regarding the commitment and willingness required at HeartLand to heal.
I Am OK, You are Not! - The dilemma of living in "I am OK, You are Not!" - we get to live with the chemistry of our thoughts! And our bodies do not distinguish who we are thinking those thoughts about.
Life is Worth Living - In response to a teacher telling his student that life was not worth living.
Missing and Loss - A woman who’s relationship seemed to be on the verge of ending and she was in the midst of her fear about being alone and feeling great pain about the loss of a close relationship (again). (The advice applies for man or woman.)
My Mom's Pain or Mine? - A lady who wanted to know if the pain she felt every time she went ‘home’ was her own or was she just feeling her mom’s pain.
Neuropeptides and Chemistry - I am the victim here - why should I let them off the hook? They deserve my wrath!
Rakhma and Khooba - Explain Rakhma or Khooba Love from the Aramaic.
Relationship Issue #1 - A man who had gotten involved with a lady who was not yet free and their relationship was rocky before it began. He was feeling lost and alone.
Relationship Issue #2 - Do I share what comes up in my worksheets with my partner – when the worksheets are about him and his leaving?
Relationship Issue #3 - A lady who felt she needed to end a relationship but felt such loss because it was “all she had”. She was doing her work (or she thought) but felt no joy. When does it come together?
Relationship Issue #4 - We suggested looking in the past for answers to the present and future - this suggestion met resistance.
Relationship Issue #5 - A lady who’s latest relationship just ended and she was in loss and sadness...again.
Relationship Issue #6 - I am now in a relationship with an amazing man. I am finding that now the honeymoon period has worn off the work has begun. We are currently in a difficult place....
Rookha d'Koodsha and Forgiveness - What is Kookha's part in our Forgiveness?
StillPoint #1 - What is StillPoint? Is it explained on any of your DVDs?
StillPoint #2 - An attempt to experience an "emotional release process" with a family member facilitating.
Triggered Reality - In the face of someone else being triggered by MY actions and not being fully clear about what is theirs and what is mine, I find myself doubting myself and my actions as well as leaning towards feeling responsible for THEIR feelings.
Unfair - Feelings about unfair treatment from management at work.
Upper Path Sex - I understand that on the upper path sex is not the focus of the relationship, and that on the lower path, sex can be a distraction for true intimacy....
What Tool When - What tool do I use when? Which one is better?
Worksheet Question Changes - Question about the changes that we made on the worksheet?
Answer: "The Magical Number Seven, Plus or Minus Two: Some Limits on Our Capacity for Processing Information" by George Miller, Harvard University Psychology Professor – here is a quote by him “My problem is that I have been persecuted by an integer.” So began perhaps the most famous paper in the history of experimental psychology. The Harvard psychologist George Miller, inspired by information theory, aimed to measure the “channel capacity” of the mind, and found that three very different tasks pointed to the same answer. People could associate about seven different labels with continuous stimuli (like loudnesses or colors); they could rapidly identify the number dots without counting them up to around seven; and they could hold about seven items in immediate memory. And there was an additional twist. The capacity of immediate memory was the same whether each item was a binary digit (1 bit), a decimal digit (3.3 bits), a letter of the alphabet (4.7 bits), or an English word chosen from a list of a thousand (10 bits). This elasticity suggests that people don’t just passively transmit incoming information but recode it into mind-friendly units, which Miller called “chunks.” Human information processing is thus constricted by a bottleneck of 7 plus or minus 2 chunks. With this remarkable insight, George Miller helped to launch the cognitive revolution (see pdf at http://pinker.wjh.harvard.edu/lectures/Rediscovery_Labels_revised.pdf) ushering in a new era of theory and research in American psychology.
You can also search “bandwidth of consciousness”
Some refer to chunks and some to bits of information. And the amounts vary but the message is the same – there are lots of bits of data out there (actuality) and very little in our conscious mind (reality).
Question: I remember that after I completed your workshop that from your perspective I still had anger issues to work out (I can't remember your exact wording). I am just now getting in touch with all sorts of anger, and find myself angry much of the time, about many things, and often directed at my partner. It's all I can do to behave nicely at the moment, especially towards him. We are in the midst of a move, and life has been super stressful as well. What are your recommendations to help move this anger, besides doing the worksheets? (I have printed them off and plan to do one each time anger comes up.)
Answer: If you have the “Getting the Stress You Need” DVD, I suggest you watch it. If not, I suggest you order it. Also, watch the “CoDependence to InterDependence” DVD. If you recall from the workshop, stress is the key to the behaviors that the mind defaults to. If no stress, we do what we did to get along with our Power Person. When stress starts to build, the mind defaults to what we did to resist or survive with our Power Person. When we become ultra stressed, we default to doing what our Power Person did that we hated the most. You must reduce the stress before you get to that place!
Stress is caused by goals, if you remember, and true forgiveness reduces stress because it consists of identifying and cancelling goals that bring out aberrant behavior. I suggest you not wait to do worksheets when the anger comes up. It is then already has you by the face. I would suggest a commitment to do 5 worksheets minimum per day until you are through this!!! You knew this anger long before meeting your partner. He is not the cause! The cause is the denied realities of the past. Let them go!!
Answer: If your goal, your first focus, is to not be angry all the time, notice the instruction you just gave your mind. I would shift that into haling my anger before, or as, it surfaces and living in the true essence I am designed to live in – Love, Inner Peace and Calm! I would also suggest getting our CoDependence worksheet and fill it out with all the issues that are in your face right
now. It will assist on cleaning out and being free of the anger. Also, have you done any StillPoint Breathing around these issues? Perhaps a MindShifter, “I am safe when I get in touch with my anger and instantly let it go.”
In the teachings of Y’Shua (the word that is His name is not Jesus), he stresses that His words are our perfect life and the power of life and death is in our words. His words were thought and taught in Aramaic, not Greek or English. It is the same today as back then, many things cannot be said in one language, that are clearly expressible in another.
I offer that to think the Greek language, that comes from violence and control based minds (watch the movie “300” to see how deep it really is and how long it has been going on), could possibly express the flowering of Love as Y’Shua taught is a major error. English is not much different. Language is about spelling! We must be careful what spells and beliefs we take on from others who teach fear, the opposite of what Y’Shua taught, and want control others! That mind will always proclaim ownership of the Truth and try to make you believe its fear based teachings are infallible. All fear based teachings, pretending to be taught in the Name of One who repeatedly said, “Fear not!” are a fraud! They are wolves in sheep’s clothing. “Fear God,” in the Name of One who said the first Law was Love God, is a fraud. Beware.
The condition set out by Y’Shua, the protocol He gave to understanding and properly decoding the words of the Law and the Prophets is singular. Its urgency has not been discovered by most theologically oriented minds because to actually embody and follow it means a deep peace (sp? Error – No) of inner work must be done. Y’Shua calls us out to profound change if we are to understand at depth His teaching. A lesser action or standard falls short. Paul, not having met the protocol admits he does not understand when he says words to the effect, “Why is it the things I would do, I cannot and that which I hate, I do.” I offer the protocol has been virtually ignored in our culture of violence. A mind with words of violence (warriors for Christ?!) at its core, a mind that can contemplate fear as rational, and verbal, emotional or physical violence and war as a logical solution to anything has not the “eyes to see nor the ears to hear,” and can sensibly translate nothing.
What is the Protocol? It is the absolute default, of one’s mind, to Love, when one thinks of God, Neighbor or Self. Upon this singular condition hangs the Law and all of its Prophets.
Imagine you are the best translator of Russian into English and English into Russian on the planet and, after spending a week with you and a new Russian friend, I ask you to tell him I think he is “really cool,” and you turn to him in your best Russian and proclaim I think he has a low body temperature! You translated my words perfectly, but said nothing true or meaningful about what I meant! A fear/hostility based mind, not having met Y’Shua’s Protocol, not having the “eyes to see and the ears to hear” can say nothing true or meaningful about the deepest teachings that fell from His lips. That is why, after 2,000 years, preachers can still promote war and “Holy War” is thought to be possible, even a sacred “duty.” This would not be conceivable in Y’Shua’s mind and belies everything He stood for.
When you cancel the goal, don’t try to “make” something come up or even “expect” something…just be with the cancelling of what it is you want (what you wrote as your goal for #1A). By cancelling you allow the “alter” (your mind) to be clear. If you try to figure it out you are still in what we call “carbon base memory”. AND, the cancelling is just half of it! The second part (#9B on the 12 step sheet) is asking for assistance from the super processor (Rukha or the Holy Spirit) – we can’t do it all on our own - we need help. After you have reconnected to love and turned it over to Spirit, you should feel at least a little lighter or relieved (maybe not exuberant). Yes, you might feel some anxiety if what comes up is a big issue for you. Let me ask you a question now, when you said, “My goal was to be loved and accept by others” – that is a BIG GENERAL goal. If your object of attention was the world maybe this is an accurate goal but if your object of attention was one person (which it should be) then I think you need to be more specific in your goal. For example, “I want to be loved and accepted by …Bob or Mary or Mom or Dad or myself or whoever it is”. The more specific you are the better result you will have and the more specific of an issue will be uncovered. You can’t eat an elephant in one bite. It would be nice but not practical. And yes, physical pain is very common. Sometimes what “comes up” is all physical sensations and not memories – and sometimes it is both – but whatever went into your system has to come back out and whatever physical emotions went in with the experience also has to come out. Be with it and know you are healing and moving in the right direction. If you focus on the thoughts, feelings and sensations that come up instead of on the healing then you could recreate the issue again by giving it more energy. It is a memory of pain – not current pain.
Something else that may help… go to this link…it is about “stuck points” Stuck Points.
Answer: You are in good company with the lament of not being able to follow your own choices! Paul also cries, "Why is it the things I would do, I cannot, and that which I would not do is what I do!"
Why? When you go back to the Aramaic Y'Shua, he is teaching physics and physiology, not religion! There are 2 minds we can function out of. One is the Mind that He used, the Mind of Christ, where there is truly choice, the other is the inertia bound pseudo-mind of the past, stored in our carbon based memory systems. It has all the decisions of a thousand generations in it and its propensity to do what it is going to do is legendary, regardless of our choices.
The body, being a carbon based device, appears to have a mind of its own, but it is not truly a mind, it is more an automatic, computer like function that has stored in it, past thoughts, feelings, realities and behaviors that have been received energetically in our DNA. When a situation resonates one of those old behaviors, they take over and choice is gone. In the ancient Scriptures it was called the anti-Christ and its number is 666. The atomic number of carbon is 6 - 6 electrons, 6 protons, 6 neutrons, hence the
reference to the inertia bound "mind" that takes away our choices and locks us into the mind of the past, unable to follow the simplest choices we make.
The work of Y'Shua was that of, "overcoming" the propensity of carbon based memory, with its insane and loveless decisions, to control us. To remove old realities is called True Forgiveness. It has nothing to do with letting others, or ourselves, off the hook for what has been done, but, rather, is the tool with which you go into carbon based memory and remove what never should have been there in the first place. It removes the ability that carbon based memory has to remove us from choice and restore us to our rightful place, able to do the things He did and greater, because, no longer controlled by the past, there is actual choice.
An intensive is an opportunity to do a large piece of one's own work. If the use of the tools is not continued, however, the enormity of the carbon based systems data, "disappears" our new choices and understanding in its mass. Perhaps it is time for an Intensive and time to do the next piece of your work??
Question: The following is from a personal counseling session with a lady who had “men” issues in her life and after some in-depth discussion we decided she needed to do some work around her dad and herself. (This goes for men with “women” issues – look back at relationship with mom.)
Answer: When I suggested you do a worksheet on your dad and you - I just felt - the Spirit moved me in the direction - that your "men" problem was connected with your dad. Yes even though he was/is a good father and did lots of loving things - the thing(s) that hurt and felt like rejection had more emotion attached. That rejection carries through because you gave it the importance.
Suggestion to follow of something Jeanie did that resulted in a phenomenal way. During my last visit to my hometown, I told my dad "We are going for a Daddy Daughter Date" without Mom - I had already told her and she understood we had done mom-daughter things but I had never done something alone with Dad. I told him what time I would pick him up. I had a gift for him too. We did trivial stuff at first, he needed to go to the bank and the post office then we went to visit a friend of his that was in the hospital and then we went to the grocery store together and bought fruit and snacks. Then finally...we went to a restaurant and sat down to a late lunch and I gave him the gift. During lunch I let him read part of my journal (it is a journal I actually have written for a memoir for my son to know his heritage better) I showed Dad what I wrote about him - mostly very positive - my favorite memory of Dad and I together, that when I thought of Dad I thought of woods, fields, cut hay, cattle, the river - all these things that are an important part of his life. How he was my hero and that I only remember him being angry at me twice and on and on. We both cried. Then I asked him to tell me about his boyhood growing up - school, sports, college, army life, what took us to the different places we had lived. We talked about HIM for an hour. I thanked him for what he had meant to me and what he was doing for my son (taking him hunting and camping and fishing and being such an example). We cried some more. Finally we went back to his house and then I went home. We spent from 11:00 to 5:00 together that day and it was wonderful. A memory I will always cherish.
You might not have all those same memories but write out some things and next time you go home do a dad-daughter date and let him read it - you tell him you all are going out - don't wait for him to ask you. You will love the experience. Create a memory with him that has stronger ties and emotions than the painful ones you've been holding onto. Example of things to write in a journal - My father's best story about his childhood. My favorite memory of my father. I always think of my father whenever. From my father I learned. The most wonderful thing about my father. He was/is especially good at. The greatest gift my father gave to me. My father taught me that.
Keep your focus on the positive - create the positive. Then another day do the same thing with your mom.
It is great that you are willing to face your stuff and work through it. We hold you in love as you heal.
Question: The following response comes from an email sent to a personal friend who was pleading for relief from his life, he was on the brink of suicide. He had no previous introduction to michael’s work so the response contains a lot of explanation/detail of why and how forgiveness works. Answer: WOW the context of your email sounds desperate and confused. I have a "tool" to share that will work – trust me – it may seem radical. I will try to explain as best I can via email – I can provide additional documents that contain notes from our workshops that will give a deeper explanation should you want more. At the end of this email I have attached the link to download the "Reality Management Worksheet" which is the tool that will change your mind and thus your life. But read my explanation first before you go straight to the worksheet. AND part of this will sound like what we have been taught all our lives from a spiritual perspective and part will be from a physics perspective – bear with me and see the connection between the two and then you will better understand HOW you can change the way your life seems to be going. You said in your email “a problem I have” and “I’m back in my rut.” so you are acknowledging already that this is a pattern and you have claimed it as yours – that’s a good start. Now read on please….
Answer: The Creator made us in his own image – and scriptures say “God is Love” – therefore we are Love. It is the stuff we are made of, it is where we live, move and have our being – it is not something we “do to” or “give to” another person. If we don’t “feel” like love then it is because we have an “overlay” that is taking us out of our true nature. Removing that “overlay” from our being is called forgiveness in Aramaic (which was Jesus’ original language) – forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person – that is “pardoning”. Which is a nice thing to do but does nothing for what’s inside of you.
We are an energy system of electrons, protons, neutrons and light….and there are only two qualities of energy relative to our systems, integrative (builds us up) or disintegrative (tears us down). Anything less than our true being (Love) is disintegrative to us - scriptures call this energy “sin”. These energies include fear, hostility, anger, pain, vengeance, plus anything else we experience that is less than love. We enter this life with some generational stuff but once we become an “individual” it is ours – we can’t continue to “blame” our ancestors for the way we are – we have the power to change our life if we do not like the way it is going. And we can make the change for everyone in the bloodline both forward and backward. We have the power to clear up the generational issues for ourselves as well as for our parents (and other ancestors) and for our kids so they don’t have to deal with it. That is power!
You are giving your power away - to others, to your situation at work, to your management. You have the power to change the way you feel, not them. You have the power to change your mind thus change your feelings and change your physiology. Take your power back. Read on, my friend……
The purpose of life is joy, vitality, happiness and love. When we place disintegrative energy in our system we create a breakdown and the beginning of our own death. God (and Life) does not want us to destroy ourselves so now life's purpose changes to show us the areas we need to clean up. People and events will come our way (drawn to us through resonance) to bring it up for us. Usually though, we blame them for what we feel and never truly face our own internal crap. We may “forgive” them (actually just an act of pardoning) but our pain is still in tact and we will get to face it again and again until we decide to give it up…this is what the worksheet helps us do…step by step to clean it up. God has given us a feedback mechanism (our feelings) that tells us when we are off base or have something in our life (sin) that needs to be cleared out. Let me interject here that in Aramaic the word “sin” is an archery term that means off the mark, take another shot. It is not an evil condemnation thing like we are led to believe – that is a control tactic (howbeit unconsciously done, we are in fear of our sin and do what we are told to get back into grace). Most important here – remember if you feel something - it is yours.
We must first take responsibility for what we feel. We are not responsible for what or who triggers the feeling – they are responsible for what they do or say. Yes they may do something “off the mark” and they need to be held accountable for their action – this does not let them off the hook. BUT we are in charge of our own feelings and thoughts and those we can change – then we are saner to hold the other person (our trigger) accountable.
The first law is to love God, neighbor and SELF. Christ conquered death and hell and said he came to show us the way and that we could do what he did and greater - do we believe what he said is true? He brought a body of work to be done not a belief system to believe in. Yet it is easier to just call on his name and not do what he said to do. We are to take up our cross not his and do our work - we are to live in the mind of Christ which showed the love of God regardless of the circumstances. He chose to stay connected to Love (to God, his Source) over anything the world could send his way. Your cross right now is this overwhelming “sinking into your rut” – you need to cancel your goals for things to be different and reconnect to your Source (Love). Love yourself more! Stand in the space of love even in the face of your "enemies". It takes practice to stay there all the time but it can be done – Christ did it and said we could too.
Let me share a little story here: There was a rose and a butterfly that fell in love and had a marvelous time together until one day the butterfly flew away. The rose, because it thought there was nothing more important than the love of the butterfly, uprooted itself to give chase. What happens to the rose? It dies! Why? Because it made something else more important than staying connected to its source. When we disconnect from our Source (God or Love) we initiate the beginning of our own death. This job and your schedule are not worth the price. Reconnect – you can change your mind. Feelings are shadows of thoughts. Change our thoughts and we can change our feelings. Now read a little more how our thoughts become our physiology – thus becomes our disease (or dis-ease).
We have in our being, right now, every frequency we will ever experience for the rest of our lives. What changes will be what we put in or take out. Feelings and thoughts are molecular, every thought we think produces molecules in our structure (neuropeptides) and those molecules travel our system and land on a cell with a matching receptor site and the cell replicates the molecule physically. This is proven in the laboratory. We now live with the chemistry of our thoughts. Our molecular structure becomes our cellular structure...we must become responsible for our own being. Our energy is organ-ized.
Our behavior (reality) is driven by the goals we set. We need to not allow "life" to run our behavior - if we don't determine & control our goals then someone else will set them for us. Scriptures say we are in this world not of this world. We are taught in this society to turn our goals over to parents, teachers, bosses, political & religeous leaders and they will "frame" the goals and then we will "set" the goals based on their call not our own. Advertisement is for the same purpose - to frame our goals of which products to buy. Guard the portals of your mind. When we allow others to frame our goals we feel resentment and powerless...but we can take charge of the goals we set and empower ourselves.
Now we ask, “Why would we want to cancel a Good Goal? A goal I deserve.” The goal we hold is the driver for our behavior and we can't change our thoughts/feelings without letting go of the goal. Our "object of attention" is only a trigger for what we have suppressed in our own structure not the cause of our feelings. Mind energy in our mind becomes the flesh (the world) we see and our body becomes a "doer" of that action.
If you have been in a painful reality 87 times with 42 different people - you are the one that has been there every time. You have something to do with your life. Responsibility. Be careful where you let your mind go - it is the father of liars. Suspect every reality your mind delivers - if it delivers it in the form of a body - it is a projection. Think with the mind of Christ not the memory bank of red clay (Adam).
Notice your breath - are you holding it? Holding the breath, or shallow breathing, is the mechanism we use (unconsciously) to not look at something that is up in our face. It is a denial mechanism. Holding the breath increases carbon dioxide in body and acidity of the body increases – this weakens the body. We need to be more alkaline. You are not facing what is truly up for you and your body is feeling it physically. Our mind-body-soul are all connected.
Uncancelled goals increase our stress level. We have to either achieve the goal or let it go...the mind won't automatically release a goal...it has to be told to let it go. We only have so many resources and when they are all used up on goals we can crash our system, like an overload computer. We need to keep all resources available - cancel goals at the end of each day. We may reset them later but cancel each night.
None of us experience any reality that is not already in our systems. What you are experiencing is the result of something you have within you that you have not dealt with and it is literally killing you. Do a worksheet – cancel the goal you hold and reconnect to your “being”!
Keep love conscious, active and present when something less than love comes up and healing happens. When you release this issue, you can have 50 schedule changes and you can stand in the space of being and not have your “rut” appear ever again. It is your choice to fall in the rut or go in a different direction.
Question: Can the worksheets in and of themselves really "remove" emotional pain that is deep and imbedded and of many years? They are certainly working for everyday triggers. But what about the deep old stuff? And if yes, then how? Here's why I ask, I was doing a worksheet last night on my father being the trigger, his meanness of speaking to my mom, being the thing and my anger, disgust, sadness, etc. The tears and emotion that came up was, well, many years worth. My mind kept thinking, there's no way this step by step forgiveness thing is going to eradicate something this deep, this old, this painful. I finally went ahead and did it anyway; however, it felt like a needle in a haystack. So, if you would now say, do more worksheets, ok sure, do more. But in a way I want you to again explain how it is that you believe that these worksheets alone can heal the pain on that level. So, yes, lots and lots of worksheets and really just on faith that something is happening beyond my limited knowing. Is the idea here that even if the behavior between my mom and dad never changes that somehow I can stand by it and really feel only love?
Answer: It is a process. Please share with your support group - if you have the question others probably do too.
This is one of your major core issues and on these we might have to do 77x70 worksheets. That means an infinite number of worksheets around one issue until it is finished/complete. You have spent how many years building the feelings and thoughts that you now hold in your physiology? You might be done with it overnight but probably not. In the Co-dependence to Inter-dependence workshop, we talk about the child trying to fix it for the parent when things go wrong and when they can't fix it they develop the thoughts and feelings of I am hopeless, helpless and I am to blame. You must forgive this issue in your life too because I am sure you were there and tried to fix your parents problems too. And it did not work.
The worksheet is a tool to walk you through the forgiveness process. I have seen people "fill out the worksheet" but they did not "mean it inside" - they did not release, they did not ask Rukha to assist, they did not forgive or cancel their goal - therefore the sheet did not remove their issue. The process is in you! Yes this tool walks you step by step how to and it can undo any insanity that we are willing to let go of - question is, are you ready to let it go? Are you ready to acknowledge the child's hurt in you where you could not fix your parents? When you cancel your need to fix them you will be able to stand in the presence of their insanity and see it as THEIRS and you can be unattached to the feelings that used to accompany being in the presence of their mess. It can happen.The forgiveness process does not differentiate between today's events and generational events. However, you are trying to take apart one big issue with one bite....kind of like how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Be gentle with yourself and acknowledge the progress you have made - yes there is more work to do but you have made big strides already. Yes? YES!!
With Love and Respect for all you are doing to move forward!
Question: Explain the filters in the mind - over intentions and perceptions.
There are three filters in the frontal part of the brain over Intentions: Hostility, Fear, Rakhma (translated Love) and three filters in the back of the brain over Perceptions: Hostility, Fear, Koohba (translated Love). Both Love filters set together is called “Perfect Love” – and perfect love casts out fear. Only one filter can be set at a time so look at your “feelings” over any situation…what do you feel? If there is hostility or fear then you are operating out of carbon based memory and are compromising your own intelligence. Reset the filter to love and be connected to your Source (your BEING) regardless what is happening in your world – that is what Y’Shua (aka Jesus Christ) did and they killed his body but he was able to rebuild it and live. That is what he came to
teach. Your connection to God (to Love) is what keeps you alive. Watch Getting the Stress You Need – it covers the filters.
Question: I've been doing more conscious work using your worksheets and the commitment in the past 2 weeks, mainly on my own around stuff that comes up with my partner, and I've been having all sorts of physical symptoms, each one usually lasting a day or so every day for the past week. I've landed on intense anxiety which has been around now for a couple of days, and feels very familiar from my childhood. I think I usually carry around a low-grade anxiety, but this is full-blown and I feel like I'm losing perspective on the healing process. Every little thing around me is triggering more anxiety - I could be doing 100 worksheets a day, even as I see that the events themselves are completely unrelated to my feelings, a part of me still tries desperately to connect them together. I also feel like it's never going to leave. Does this sound like a healing crisis? Any suggestions? Keep breathing?
Answer: Sounds right on track. The minute you made the commitment to do the Intensive, you cranked up the energy to another level. Each worksheet will tend to open a part of the mind (body) and begin the release process - old symptoms, old feelings and confusion are your friends as you heal! How intense does the process get? You might check out the book of Job - he asks God for a reprieve from his process - and you can tell how intense it was by the length of the intermission he asks for - time to swallow his saliva!
We hold you in light - you are dumping the content (perhaps a thousand generations) of your "Carbon Based Memory System," and are doing well. And, this too shall pass! A worksheet on "it never leaving" (Subject- anxiety) would be perfect. Your bloodline,
if it has been without tools, probably contains generations of hopelessness - just another reality to be forgiven!
I am here at Heartland for me now.
Before, my reality was that of a captured wild animal being forced into submission; unable to see through panic the fact that I am being offered true freedom.
Until my conversation with Michael this evening, I had felt no real choice; I was up against a cliff drop to certain death, or refuge at Heartland. In my primal struggle to remain wild I fought back, and at times, wounded the very souls struggling to free me.
I am now willing to go where I have not gone before; into humbleness, connectedness and love. I can’t do this alone. I need you, all of you.
Claws retracted…I am now safe. Love, A-nany-mous
Answer: Good Morning A-nany-mous,
I am in delight at your letter!! I join you in your willingness and healing. I have a few questions about what you say in the letter and what it means to you. I also have a request. When I first received the letter, I projected all questions we had been discussing were answered. However, I understand your brother just spent about 20 minutes on the phone, doing what sounded to me like railing on our property manager, about how he should just let you smoke. My projection, as all of this started around smoking, was the question of smoking was answered. Is it?
Around the smoking issue, something like, "What does it matter," after you had given your word, was said. My request is that with the humility and willingness expressed in your letter, and the request for support of everyone, that you treat your word as your bond. That you willingly do what it takes to heal and give up the struggle. I have spent 40 years studying healing and designing a program that has drawn many back from the edge of just about every malady that infects the human soul. Not my ideas, mind you, but modeled after what I have learned from Y’Shua and other Giants.
As I write this, I realize that much of it will become part of the Team Agreement so it is much wider in scope than just our discussions. This letter is not just to you (not everything here applies to just you) but anyone who does not support, by their attitude, behavior, participation and cooperation, 212 degree performance for everyone. Recall the brief story about water at 211 degrees? As hot water, not capable of much but a burn. But that 1 extra degree creates steam and then a power and miracles undreamed of by 211 degree water are possible!
As I said when we spoke, I do not know what factor will bring each individual across the threshold to their healing, their 212 degrees, but I have studied many systems and dedicated HeartLand as a place where people can come, learn and apply each of those factors. And people heal. What took me 40 years to understand, and am still, with the help of my friends, learning to articulate, will be experienced by the willing in less than two. Being willing, or not, to participate is each one’s concern and choice, not mine. Once the choice is made, however, it is my concern. As for HeartLand itself and this program, twenty years of spending every ounce of strength I have, every resource I have and every penny I get is what it has taken to get here. Twenty years of learning what it takes and going through the process with person after person has been a Herculean task that has been a challenge few will ever be able to imagine. I do not request lightly what I request of each who wants to participate. I expect nothing until the commitment is made, then I expect everything! HeartLand is an endeavor committed to Eternity and the Eternal Lives and the Families of each that comes here to do their work. It is not a hangout, or vacation spot, it is a place to do one’s work.
This is a program for willing adults. Each person applying the factors I speak of, is a factor in itself. ONE voice missing, ONE voice out of integrity and willingness changes the dynamic for everyone. The space is then not the same. I am committed to creating a space of the highest service possible to each of you and to the healing of the planet. This is not about you but it is for you. The energy of one drug entering into the sacred space we have worked to create sacrifices a factor for each team member, perhaps the one that is their breakthrough, or yours. It is OK that none of us is perfect at any of this but just the effort is a huge factor, and keeping the commitments each has made is a serious undertaking. Those not involved, who have not given their word may not understand that, or care. But I do expect each person that has the advantage of being part of the HeartLand program to have the integrity to block interference that one who does not understand, or care, might bring. Be it a self, family or neighbor. And I expect each to keep in integrity with their word and support and give to the leadership what they expect from it. Loving support, even when you stuff comes up. Believe it or not, that may be your biggest healer!
There are certain requirements that must remain inviolate. Agreements get broken, that is inevitable in the emotional realm. And healing happens if we stay in integrity. If agreements get broken or there is no integrity those involved spiral deeper into their own insanity, their own Lovelessness. That is when the excuses creep in – weakness, attack, argument and interruption of cooperation and goodwill. A choice for integrity and facing what needs to be faced is the only choice that produces healing. Arguing or struggling to justify behavior is unacceptable. Supporting conversations that make someone else to blame is gossip and unacceptable. I ask everyone, though it may stretch you out of your comfort zone, to hold anyone that is in attack or gossip, to stop that person, confront their behavior and invite them to look within, and heal instead. A conversation about another when in pain is Projection Communication, while a conversation about self is Responsibility Communication. If we fall out of Principal, let’s just support each other getting back on track, as quickly as possible.
Anyone who refuses to hold each accountable or due to their own issues, interferes with another’s process or makes it acceptable to break commitments and leave, is not a friend, and needs to move to a new level of healing. Everyone who comes here knows they will face only their “stuff” and nothing else. Please, everyone, if someone is moving to resolution of a major issue, it is not pretty. If you are uncomfortable supporting that person and cannot watch them go through what they need to go through, or make excuses for them moving into the next level of their process, comfort instead of confront, ask yourself why? Then focus on why you are trying to stop their work and do your healing instead of interfering or “protecting” another from accountability! If you have done this, please, we are here to do our work – this is not a program for the weak or wimpy. This is Post Graduate work and for those who wish to grow divinely strong.
This project is much bigger than I am. I knew that when I took it on. And, believe me, there have been many times when I wanted to quit, just keep my money to myself and give up the stress of doing HeartLand. My life could be so much easier! But I have a purpose and a commitment to each of you. For the first thirteen years at HeartLand, I put up with everything and no one was ever asked to leave. Now, a fly in the ointment that affects everyone’s 212 experiences is welcome to run their lives the way the wish, somewhere else! Willing goodwill and cooperation are a necessity. Going through the healing process can be messy, but being of adult mind overall and supporting what we are developing as a curriculum is a requirement of being here. Each with the privilege of attending this program is held to a higher standard than John Q average because you are the core of creating the critical mass required for the transformation of the planet. You are the Team That Changed The World! By the way, we are working toward creating a Ph.D., program, keep track of your process, it will all be credited!
Breathing clean air, instead of air with a substance so toxic that 2 drops on the tongue would produce death, has been called a HeartLand “rule.” It is not! It is a factor that produces healing. It is a factor that was explained and committed to when you first signed the agreement. The arguments, abuse, struggle and consumption of time over an issue that was settled from the beginning must be over to continue at HeartLand. If anyone who comes to HeartLand understood how to do their Spiritual work and heal, it would be done and they would not be here, or would be here to support the massive healing project we have undertaken. Either there must be an understanding of the process we teach, or a willingness to learn by following directions, and we move forward, or we bless each other and agree to disagree. Either choice is OK with me but once the choice is made, you will be supported in it and held accountable for it, please, without the need for further discussion! The leadership is here to support healing and moving this whole project forward, not to spend time discussing what has already been settled.
Each that has wreaked havoc in their lives needs guardrails where they do not know, or cannot live according to their own best interests. There are no rules at HeartLand, but there are Laws, the result of Eternal Forces, that we commit to honoring and harmonizing with. These expressions (called “rules”) are but guardrails to sanity – To Being the Presence of Love in every event of our Lives – and we are doing our best to understand and teach them to a world that says about anything goes. Anything does not go here! Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the best definition of insanity I have yet found. Instead of argument and struggling over the need to be in control - the some guardrails (keys to liberty) are – willingness, willingness to actually follow instructions, keeping commitments, letting go of the distractions of the world, 2.4 hours of doing your work daily, integrity, practice and application of the principles, learning Forgiveness, willingness to be called on our “stuff,” doing assignments, full and integritous participation, and, as this is a work in process, adapting to new discoveries as we advance in our understanding, were all covered in the original agreement and are non-negotiable requirements. These are what it takes to make the program work and are open to constructive feedback , but fear and hostility based infantile demands will not change the program. Those who have come but would not follow through with this program all received benefit but, as I hear back from them, the possible healing has not happened.
I request that you reread the Team Agreement and sign it again in full integrity if your understanding of your letter is in agreement. And then our discussion will be over and everyone can focus on all the projects before us that will bring each of us, HeartLand and, through critical mass, the planet to the next level.
In Smiles and Blessings and Holding the space for the BEST year YET of EACH of YOUR Eternal Life!! michael
Question: “I am OK – You are Not”
Someone who has been doing this work shared a situation with us and their response was a great modeling of this work. michael’s added comments are at the end:
They wrote to their colleagues (Name calling had preceded this incident.): “I am not sure that we can hold … any other standard against anybody. We all have our shortcomings, and we are probably all considered … some other "not OK" label by somebody's standards. I certainly have my shortcomings, and I appreciate that people continue to accept and love me nonetheless.
Quite a bit recently, I have been speaking about living from a place of unconditional love (although certainly not fully living it). One of my dearest and closest teachers, dr. michael ryce [no caps], just sent me an email lesson in which he poses that even using the term unconditional love brings in the energy of conditions into the mind of those who speak, write, read and hear the word unconditional. Instead of unconditional love, he suggests living from all encompassing love. It was quite a mind shift for me, I will say. If you have ever gonged a bell, and the ring was still ringing afterwards, that is how I have been feeling ever since I got that email.
Is this something we can discuss more fully, and perhaps even address it in our policy manual?”
Then in another correspondence to their colleagues they said: “I have had some more thoughts about this.
I want to preface this by stating that this is not an attack on … (anyone). We have all made similar statements; they just happened to be the current one that triggered my comments.
The transaction was an example of an "I'm OK, You're OK, He’s Not OK" transaction. This type of transaction is very common in our culture, and is glorified in books, plays, TV, and movies. It is also very addictive, because those included in the OK group get to feel bonded with each other while joining in agreement that somebody is not OK. Most of us learned this way of relating at a very young age and had many role models demonstrate it to us, often first by making US not OK, then offering to bond with us by inviting us to join with them making somebody else not OK. Most of us took the bait, and bought into that way of relating, and the cycle has become rampant in our culture. Just watch any sitcom. Most of the so called humor can be reduced to: Somebody (I, you, he, she, we, or they) is not OK -- ha-ha!
I have been working to get beyond this way of relating and to transact from more win-win-win scenarios where EVERYBODY is OK. I have, by no means, fully succeeded. If transacting in the way I suggest is something that makes sense to you, I ask your help in modeling it for me and pointing out to me if I engage in any “not OK” references, directly or by implication.
I look forward to discussing this idea further, and the idea of living it with you in our business especially inspires me.”
Answer: To go beyond the, "I'm OK- you are not" model, it has been shown in the laboratory that the thoughts of hostility or fear we think ‘we are thinking about others’ are self imposed and come from corrupted data in the mind. Those thoughts (any thought-the Loving ones, too) produce a molecule called a neuropeptide which, when it lands on a cell with a matching receptor site, is replicated in the cell. We get to live with the chemistry of our thoughts! And our bodies do not distinguish who we are thinking those thoughts about.
If, in our structure (Carbon Based Memory) we hold these molecules from the past, they will tend to repeatedly dictate our thinking and the only solution is to Forgive - not let others of the hook for what is in our Carbon Based Memory - but rather, remove from Carbon Based Memory what does not belong there. There is a 2,000 year old technology, recently discovered from an ancient manuscript, for how to do that.
In Smiles, Blessings and wishes for the Best year yet of your Eternal Lives!
Question: The following answer was in response to a teacher telling his student that life was not worth living.
Answer: Yes, generations of insane living might, when it comes up for healing, make you wish you were never born - but that is a temporary step in the process! As you do your Work, your True BEING arises from the ashes of the past. When the hurts are
healed, when the very capacity to even produce suffering in your physiology is vanquished, you have achieved the goal, and you will live in the shining light of the Love of God. Physically!
Men far wiser than your teacher, said,
"I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being." Hafiz
Question: The following response is from a personal session with a woman who’s relationship seemed to be on the verge of ending and she was in the midst of her fear about being alone and feeling great pain about the loss of a close relationship (again). (The advice applies for man or woman.)
Answer: You are focusing on loss and missing and alone and fear. Your efforts have seemed to be trying to hang on and keep what you have BUT your strongest focus that has the most energy is on pushing away, leaving, loosing. Make some plans for you - you are making “a man” your god and source for any happiness. Remember the story about the rose and the butterfly? You are the rose uprooted and you are initiating your own death. It is only in your mind! It is not real. Dwell on it and you will create it or you can change your mind. It is your choice - get reconnected!
I know you have already done this but go further back than your current partner, maybe as far back as your childhood with Dad. When did you first "want to be loved and felt rejected"? When did you first feel all alone? Or that no one cared? What is it that makes you need love from outside yourself? Why do you not feel worthy of having an eternal sacred partnership with someone? You are love! It is not something someone else must give to you. There is a part of you that says "every man must leave me" or "I am not worthy of staying with" etc and this is the part that is sending out a signal to any man to leave you. Once you clear that message - you will open the space for a man to move in...right now you are pushing them out before they ever get there. Does that make sense? With your mouth you are saying one thing but on the psychic megaphone you are telling him to remain uncertain and non-committal because you can't do that kind of relationship or you don't think you deserve it.
Sometimes my questions are not looking for direct answers but to stir the brain cells and to get the file folders firing open so the unconscious stuff can come forward to be faced and healed. We do not need to DIG for all the answers but if questions or comments bring something forward then you do worksheets on what comes forward. Cancel - forgive - what is in your face at the moment. There may come a day when we get so cleared up that we have to go digging into the deep dark past to find something to work on but for now I think I have enough daily to handle without doing that. I am trying to put out ideas that might trigger something that is at the base of this issue for you. Men (or not having a committed one) is your current trigger but they are not the cause. We are searching for cause in asking questions.
Forgive - cancel - what the church and family told you. A woman is not validated by or made complete by a man (and vice-versa). Yes life can be more fun with the other but we are complete and whole and wonderful as we are ALONE with God in us. You are beautiful and smart and fun to be with and are so spiritually wise - a treasure for complimenting any man's life. But if you are resonating worry and fear and sinking and loss - that does not compliment anyone including yourself. Change your mind and be who you are and you will open the door where a man will want to walk through and stay! You may ask how did it happen that you created the frequency of "not being worthy" and "for men to leave you" - you developed the brain cells as a child that men will leave you and your church told you that you were not worthy - it is imprinted on your soul that this is truth but it is a lie and you must remove that imprint off of the true being that you are. Return to BEING instead of DOING.
You might do all this processing and your partner may still leave but if you have truly done the "healing" it won't hurt when he leaves. You can stand in the space to embrace him in your love and HOLD ON AS TIGHT AS YOU CAN WITH AN OPEN HAND! Be willing to let him go even while you want him to stay. Your happiness is not tied up or dependant on what any man does - likewise your sadness is not caused by them either. You are sad or lost because that is in your being not because of someone outside of you. They are only triggering it. You might start turning your guilt on yourself that "you did this to yourself" - let that go too. You have been "off the mark" but that means take another shot - do it differently - it is not a terrible, awful, unforgivable event. Be gentle with yourself. Y'shua said the first law was to "Love God, neighbor and Self" - you, my friend, have been a long time Loving yourself!
You may have to cancel this need 77x70 times to clear it all out - you did not get this way overnight you know. The joy kicks in when you see life as the wonderful gift it is instead of focusing on the "missing" pieces.
Remember that focusing is a creative act! Your focus seems to be on either leaving or being rejected or being left. So that is what you create - create men leaving and rejecting you. Do some worksheets and forgive the fear and the focus on being alone! Focus on serving God and turn it over!
Question: The following is from a personal session with a lady who wanted to know if the pain she felt every time she went ‘home’ was her own or was she just feeling her mom’s pain.
Answer: Yes, you can take on your mom's pain (that she did not deal with) genetically BUT once you are your own identity the pain is yours not hers. So when you are in her presence if you feel pain it is your pain - she is only resonating it! You can do your work and be done with it so that you get into her space and she resonates nothing in you but love regardless how much pain she is in.
Question: I am the victim here - why should I let them off the hook? They deserve my wrath!
Answer: Research from the National Institute of Health-Brain Bio Research Dep't (Candice Pert-"Molecules of Emotion) says that every thought we think places a molecule -a neuropeptide- into OUR bodies. Bruce Lipton, 20 year medical researcher/cell biologist has shown (Interview-New York-"A Better Way" TV show) that those neuropeptides hook into receptor sites and that OUR cells replicate that neuropeptide chemically inside of US. WE get to live with the chemistry of our own thoughts-they impact no one else but us.
Lets suppose that you are right, and everyone else that has "victimised" you really did do it to you. That being so, they certainly deserve the wrath you pour upon them - no question! But, seeing as you are the one who chemically experiences the impact of your wrath on a cellular structure, do you really deserve it . . . AGAIN?
I invite you to go look at the research yourself. You have, in your mind, with all your past, been able to successfully demonize the current bad guy in your life - but Why Is This Happening To You . . . AGAIN?! I promise I didn't make up the research that can show you what you continue to do to yourself and I invite you to let it go, at least from your body. Don't let anyone “off the hook”! My last email was simply asking you to look at what your mind energy is doing in your body. I'm just inviting you to ecompress all that rage and forgive it from YOUR HEART (unconscious) and I hold you as free from all of that.
Of course, I can't tell for sure, what all those accusations and associations you make mean for you, I can know that if it were me that dragged all of that up, it would be vile and vicious in my body. I get, from the way it has flowed out of you in the past emails you have sent, that it is a pretty serious violation of your own tissue. Rather than throwing the baby out with the bathwater, may I suggest at least do some Reality Management Worksheets to clear that pain out of your tissue. I think there is more here than meets the eye. Perhaps it is a chance to let go of all the times you have been and felt violated and/or all the violations and guilt trips you did in the lifetime where you implied you became a master at guilt tripping and manipulation.
Question: Explain Rakhma or Khooba Love from the Aramaic.
Answer: Depending on the filter set, a mind generates LOVING or FEARFUL or HOSTILE realities. Reality is the perceptual output of the human mind. In the frontal lobes of the brain are all of the intentions that you’ve ever experienced. In the back of the brain, all of the units of perceptual memory are stored. Everything that you’ve ever experienced is registered in the form of electrical impressions in brain cells.
There are filters that modify the output of both areas of the brain, intention and perception. Each has three filters -- two of which are fear and hostility. In the ancient Aramaic language, there were words that represented the third filter over each area of the brain and each of these words has been translated as Love, but their meaning is much deeper. These are filters that, when active, allow access to different qualities of both intentions and perception.
The third filter, over intentions, was called “Rakhma.” It allowed only intentions keyed to Love to be used by the mind as raw materials for our goals. This is important, it turns out, because our goals determine or drive, quite literally, the output of the perceptual part of the brain. In the area of perception, the filter was called “Khooba” and this filter allowed only units of perceptual memory keyed to Love to be used in building a perceptual reality.
Harvard research shows that in a specific time frame, about 1/25 th of a second, that there are approximately 10,000 units of electrical activity measurable in the brain. In that same time frame a maximum of 9 units are used in building one’s perceptual
reality. Obviously, the quality the data available through both intention and perception are key in determining the levels of function possible. Hostility and fear limit the mind to generating realities that either show something irritating or threatening about a given object of attention. This explains why a Loved one, when hostility or fear is activated, suddenly becomes unattractive. Literally, what is Loved about an object of attention becomes inaccessible through the hostile or fearful mind and all guidance systems in the mind are degraded. We are “dumbed down” by our hostility and fear and reach higher levels of function in Love.
What is usually seen as religious advice, “You must have (Rakhma/Love) for God, neighbor, and self,” was not religious but very practical, in fact, brilliant advice. The output of your mind, your perceptual reality in Aramaic terms, is the light or the guide for your earthly life. The tiny fragment of the actual world seen through the mind is what we have to flesh out our intelligence. If love is maintained in a mind, especially in a trying situation, high level function is available. If your lights (Rakhma and Khooba) are on, you can see clearly. If your lights are out, you’re in trouble. The perceptual output of the mind is driven by goals, and intentions are the raw material of goals. When you elevate an intention to a goal, your perceptual reality will show you how to achieve that goal.
The first step is to keep your mind plugged into its proper Source. Rakhma and Khooba, together, are what Jesus described as Perfect Love. If there is fear or hostility in your life, you need to learn how to set Rakhma and Khooba. They will cast out anything less than Love.
At this point, get quiet, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and say internally, “I heal attack and reset the Love Filters, Rakhma, over Intentions, and Khooba, over Perceptions.” Visualize and feel through all your senses that in your life or memory which takes you into that space of Love, wisdom and intelligence. Devote yourself to daily practice, it is the key to “Enlightenment” You’ll find that your perceptual reality will begin to shift immediately.
When hostility or fear is activated, the average person has to sit and sulk, waiting until the mind just happens to slip back into the Love filter again before they start to see something loving about a given person or situation. You can consciously choose to reset the Love filters anytime you lose Rakhma or Khooba. You don’t have to wait around hoping it happens soon.
What tends to happen in many relationships, is that more and more garbage builds, and it takes longer and longer for the Love filter to reset, until it reaches a point where it doesn’t reset again. Then people say, “Oh, well, this person’s no good. In order to be
happy, I’ve got to get rid of them,” and relationship ends.
Question: The following is from a personal session with a man who had gotten involved with a lady who was not yet free and their relationship was already rocky and he was feeling lost and alone.
Answer: I don’t know if you have been married before or not and I can not from a personal space say what it is like for a man but for a woman getting divorced produces such mixed emotions. Whether your lady is the one who filed for the divorce or not doesn't matter.
I know when I divorced it was my decision not his. I had been married 24 years and I went through such emotions - guilt, hurt, sadness, loneliness, anger and pain. This was before I knew the forgiveness work that michael presents. If I had had these tools I would handled things a lot better than I did. Psychologists say a good guide is to stay "single" for 1 year for every 5 years married. I don't necessarily agree with that but that sort of demonstrates the intensity of "getting beyond" the divorce.
It is intense and it is so new for your friend right now that yes it is probably too soon for her to get “serious”…give her space. Plus, you two started trying to have relationship when she was not “free” to do so and so you began in a rough space. Real relationship has to have integrity and truth and you all did not fully have that, did you? She was still at least legally committed to another until her divorce was final.
This all sounds like I am saying you should go a different direction and maybe you should but then maybe you just need to be patient. I am just giving you things to think about. Only you can answer this one.
Another thought, you said you told her the other day that she was free to do what she chose to do (stay or go) and you would accept whatever she decided. By saying that, 1) you gave her the open space to say she is choosing to go and so you must graciously hold love conscious and accept that as you said you would (this might take several worksheets) AND 2) you just opened your field to allow everything less than love to surface around being left – healing is not always Dr. Feelgood, willingness to go through it will make it easier than resistance. Think back, this is not the first time you have felt these feelings of being left, alone, sad or forsaken – is it? Did you feel these anytime in your childhood?
You must forgive, cancel, the goal you hold for her to stay and reconnect to love and ask the Creator to assist you in this. Set a new goal that involves your lady friend, for example, to create a space where you can openly, honestly communicate with each other and develop a solid friendship. (It may develop into something more again but let your new goal be one you have the power to initiate.) You cannot make her love you but you do have the power to openly communicate and be her friend. She will respond to that – maybe just as a friend but she will respond. The power is in you to change what you are feeling but if you hold to the goal for her to love you the way you want her to love you then you give all the power to Debbie for your happiness. You are setting yourself up.
We are creators, so why are you not creating the relationship you want? If there is anything you want that you are not receiving (in this case for this lady to love you) then it is because there is a greater part of you that believes you can’t have it or you don’t deserve it. Until you cancel the goal for what it is you want then you will not be able to see the file in you that is holding the corrupt data to clean it out. To open the space for whatever it is to come forward and be exposed to the love (to the mind of Christ) and be dissolved THEN you will create the relationship you desire. It may be with this lady but then it may be with another.
My highest thought is 1) to do a forgiveness worksheet on this issue and see what is keeping you from getting what you want and 2) allow the space to be open for continuing to create a friendship with her. Let the relationship handle itself – cancel your need for this to happen in “your way” and let it develop however it will. 3) Your friends see you in upset and they do not know how to help you except to say you are crazy and that you should not bother – filter the advice you get from them and myself through your own filter within. Let your inner guidance lead you. And I am glad to continue this discussion until you feel complete with it. 4) It is awesome that you “love her” and are willing to step aside for her good. However, love (God) does not want sacrifice. You ARE love – it is your BEING. You need to recognize that it is within and not something you have to attain from someone outside of you. As long as you are looking outside of you - it is actually approval not love – and you will not find satisfaction.
I hold you in the space as you heal – and I believe this is a healing crisis for you. The symptoms of healing look and feel like the symptoms of dis-ease. As you release the old feelings of loss will arise. Be gentle on yourself and continue to move forward.
Question: Do I share what comes up in my worksheets with my partner – when the worksheets are about him and his leaving?
Answer: That probably could be a good thing. Since he is your trigger then he also could be your best support in healing the issues. HOWEVER, think first!!! You need to watch your wording - be responsible (able to respond) and acknowledge verbally to him your ownership of what is going on inside you. Maybe say something like "some of your actions are triggering a load of feelings and thoughts in me that are off the mark, I do realize they are past emotions, perhaps generational, and I want to heal it and would you support me in processing right now?" Ask him if he would be willing to just hold the space and listen as you express what is up for you. You might even want to say that as he is the current trigger that he most likely is the current cure. But be ready then to take your turn to hold the space and listen as he expresses what is up for him. There may be some major fears up for him too - often happens when a relationship is deepening to a new level - maybe he is running away from what he is feeling and not you - who knows - so yes talking is good - open communication and trust are required for any relationship to grow and deepen. State up front and both agree that if it gets intense that you are both willing to "put it on the shelf" to be taken down later when you are both sane again - and that may be days later not hours - and then the two of you do something that is fun and loving together that can put the atmosphere back into sanity and love - go out to eat or take a walk and change the subject to something non-confrontive. Be ready though for anything could surface from you or him and healing is not always Dr. Feelgood - in fact it rarely is....but it is worth it.
One thing that jumped at me from your responses was you "can't wait till March" "not spending time trying to remember" "is the answer necessary" - all of these are on the theme of "time spent looking at your life". Sometimes we get instant relief and instant answers but most of the time the deep seated crap takes time. True, it is not necessary to know where all the generational stuff comes from and some things are not worth spending time on. But this one is your major issue and just doing the worksheets is apparently not surfacing it..you are still denying some part of you that is creating this life that you so desperately want to be different than it is. So maybe digging a little deeper will uncover the root and once the root of this weed is destroyed you can replant what you want. Have you done a MindShifter exercise around this one? Your MindShifter is "I now attract the ideal relationship and am creating an eternal sacred partnership and am healing through love, gentleness and respect." I'll explain the "how to" when we talk on the phone. I also have another worksheet that we will do on the phone....remind me it is called "When I Heal"!
Change your focus girlfriend! You are focusing on the loss and what you don't want instead of what you DO want! I am attaching a PowerPoint slideshow that mentions things like looking at what you have instead of what you don't, being glad for what was instead of sad for what isn't, etc. Watch it and breathe!!!
Yes, I do understand. I have been exactly where you are...focusing on loss and missing and alone and fear. And I still fall there at times. Your efforts have seemed to be trying to hang on and keep what you have BUT your strongest focus that has the most energy is on pushing away, leaving, loosing. Make plans for you - you are making Allen your god and source for any happiness. You are the rose uprooted and you are initiating your own death. Don't you see even in the example you gave of "in your mind going to Allen's dad's house and he's there with another woman." is only in your mind! It is not real. Dwell on it and you may create it or change your mind??? It is your choice Camille.
The example you gave of your dad is a good one. You probably did feel the rejection or that memory would not have come forth. Being rejected by a man who is the most important man in your life (I am talking about Dad to a little girl) sets up a pattern to be repeated. Searching for love from a man outside of your control and feeling the loss and failure of not achieving it. You are still following that pattern. Sounds like your sisters have created an alone life too. Maybe the same feeling of rejection as a child. Sounds like you all three are following the same genetic path. Does not mean you have to stay there just because they do. Do a worksheet on Dad going downstairs and you feeling alone or afraid.
Sometimes my questions are not looking for direct answers but to stir the brain cells and to get the file folders firing open so the unconscious stuff can come forward to be faced and healed. We do not need to DIG for all the answers but if questions or comments bring something forward then you do worksheets on what comes forward. Cancel - forgive - what is in your face at the moment. There may come a day when we get so cleared up that we have to go digging into the deep dark past to find something to work on but for now I think I have enough daily to handle without doing that. Like I said I am trying to put out ideas that might trigger something that is at the base of this issue for you. Allen is your current trigger but he is not the cause. I am searching for cause.
Forgive - cancel - what the church and family told you. A man does not validate a woman. Yes life can be more fun with the other but we are complete and whole and wonderful as we are ALONE with God in us. Camille you are beautiful and smart and fun to be with and are so spiritually wise - a treasure for complimenting any man's life. But if you are resonating worry and fear and sinking and loss - that does not compliment anyone including yourself. Change your mind and be who you are and you will open the door where a man (maybe Allen maybe not) will want to walk through and stay! You asked how did it happen that you created the frequency of "not being worthy" and "for men to leave you" - you developed the brain cells as a child that men will leave you and your church told you that you were not worthy - it is imprinted on your soul that this is truth but it is a lie and you must remove that imprint off of the true being that you are. Return to BEING instead of DOING.
Camille, you might do all this processing and Allen may still leave but if you have truly done the "healing" it won't hurt when he leaves. You can stand in the space to embrace him in your love and hold on as tight as you can with an open hand. Be willing to let him go even while you want him to stay. Your happiness is not tied up or dependant on what Allen or any man does - likewise your sadness is not caused by them either. You are sad or lost because that is in your being not because of someone outside of you. They are only triggering it. You are now turning your guilt on yourself that you did this to yourself - let that go too. You have been "off the mark" but that means take another shot - do it differently - it is not a terrible, awful, unforgivable event. Be gentle with yourself. Y'shua said the first law was to "Love God, neighbor and Self" - you, my friend, have been a long time Loving Camille!
You say "that's all I have" as if you have nothing...Camille, you have everything! Start looking at it from that perspective! We will talk soon. Email as often as you like. Love and Blessings - jeanie
Now, a couple of thoughts to add toward your personal process....yes, you can take on your mom's pain (that she did not deal with) genetically BUT once you are your own identity the pain is yours not hers. So when you are in her presence if you feel pain it is your pain - she is only resonating it! You can do your work and be done with it so that you get into her space and she resonates nothing in you but love regardless how much pain she is in.
Then regarding you and Allen. Go further back than Allen, maybe as far back as your childhood with Dad. When did you first "want to be loved and felt rejected"? When did you first feel all alone? Or that no one cared? What is it that makes you need love from outside yourself? Why do you not feel worthy of having an eternal sacred partnership with someone? You are love, Camille! It is not something someone else must give to you. There is a part of you that says "every man must leave me" or "I am not worthy of staying with" etc and this is the part that is sending out a signal to Allen and/or any man to leave you. Once you clear that message - you will open the space for a man to move in...right now you are pushing him out before he ever gets there. Does that make sense? With your mouth you are saying one thing but on the psychic megaphone you are telling Allen to remain uncertain and non-committal because you can't do that kind of relationship or you don't think you deserve it.
About your sadness at the decision to leave "what you currently have" - when it is something you don't want to leave (your words not mine that you don't want to leave)- WHO SAID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE IT? That is your call. You can stay - but then you have to either accept it as what it is or begin to create it differently. Whether you chose to leave Allen or stay - be sure you are making your decision when connected to love or you will regret it either way.
You may have to cancel this need 77x70 times to clear it all out - you did not get this way overnight ya know. The joy kicks in when you see life as the wonderful gift it is instead of focusing on the "missing" pieces.
This next statement is similar to one michael gave me this morning for something I am processing right now and it is my 77x70 issue (see, none of us are done, we all process stuff). Remember that focusing is a creative act! Your focus seems to be on either leaving or being rejected or being left. So that is what you create - create guys leaving and rejecting you. Do some worksheets and forgive the fear and the focus on being alone! Focus on serving God and turn it over!
Question: The following is from a personal session with a lady who felt she needed to end a relationship but felt such loss because it was “all she had”. She was doing her work and felt no joy. When does it come together?
Answer: You say "that's all I have" as if you have nothing...you have everything! Start looking at it from that perspective!
About your sadness at the decision to leave "what you currently have" - when it is something you don't want to leave (your words not mine that you don't want to leave) - WHO SAID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE IT? That is your call. You can stay - but then you have to either accept it as what it is or begin to create it differently. Whether you chose to leave him or stay - be sure you are making your decision when connected to Source (Love) or you will regret it either way.
You may have to cancel this need 77x70 times to clear it all out - you did not get this way overnight you know. The joy kicks in when you see life as the wonderful gift it is instead of focusing on the "missing" pieces.
Question: The following comes from a personal session where I suggested looking in the past for answers to the present and future and was met with great resistance.
Answer: One thing that jumped at me from your responses was you "can't wait till March" "not spending time trying to remember" "is the answer necessary" - all of these are on the theme of "time spent looking at your life". Sometimes we get instant relief and instant answers but most of the time the deep seated crap takes time. True, it is not necessary to know where all the generational stuff comes from and some things are not worth spending time on. But this one is your major issue and just doing the worksheets is apparently not surfacing it..you are still denying some part of you that is creating this life that you so desperately want to be different than it is. So maybe digging a little deeper will uncover the root and once the root of this weed is destroyed you can replant what you want.
Have you done a MindShifter exercise around this one? Your MindShifter is "I now attract the ideal relationship and am creating an eternal sacred partnership and am healing through love, gentleness and respect." Another worksheet that we have that would work here is “Three Early Memories” followed by the "When I Heal" worksheet!
Question: The following comes from a personal session with a lady who’s latest relationship just ended and she was in loss and sadness…again.
Answer: Change your focus! You are focusing on the loss and what you don't want instead of what you DO want! Look at what you have instead of what you don't, being glad for what was instead of sad for what isn't, etc. And Breathe!!!
The example you gave of your dad is a good one. You probably did feel the rejection or that memory would not have come forth. Being rejected by a man who is the most important man in your life (I am talking about Dad to a little girl) sets up a pattern to be repeated. Searching for love from a man outside of your control and feeling the loss and failure of not achieving it. You are still following that pattern.
Sounds like your sisters have created an alone life too - maybe the same feeling of rejection as a child. Sounds like you all three are following the same genetic path. This does not mean you have to stay there just because they do. Do a worksheet on Dad going downstairs and you feeling alone or afraid.
Your efforts have seemed to be trying to hang on and keep what you have BUT your strongest focus that has the most energy is on pushing away, leaving, loosing. Make plans for you - you are making this guy your god and your source for any happiness. You are the rose uprooted and you are initiating your own death. Don't you see, even in the example you gave of "in your mind going to his house and he's there with another woman." is only in your mind! It is not real. Dwell on it and you may create it or do you want to change your mind??? It is your choice.
Question: I found out my husband had been having an affair with a co-worker for some time. He is now living with her. We had been together for 14 years when he left and we have 3 children.
I am now in a relationship with an amazing man. I am finding that now the honeymoon period has worn off the work has begun. I keep your "commitment" in mind constantly, and work really hard at owning my own difficult emotions and not blaming him, while also trying not to blame myself if things appear to be not going well (all very challenging at times!). We are currently in a difficult place as we've just gone through a couple intense experiences and he's feeling overwhelmed, and I'm trying hard not to freak out about his emotional distance.
The Florida workshop looks amazing. It fits into my schedule, and the topic is timely, but now that I'm a single mom I hesitate to spend this much money. I am still thinking about it. Is there any opportunity for me to help you out during the year with dministrative stuff or advertising or whatever I could do around here or on the computer in exchange for a tuition reduction? I know the course is already economically priced - just thought I'd ask.
Your book and the worksheets are what made the difference to me last summer as I struggled through finding out about the affair and losing my husband and becoming a single-parent family. The day I remembered your book and pulled it out is the day that I started functioning and being able to smile, albeit occasionally, again. It was the day that I started to feel empowered about my life, that perhaps I wasn't a victim, and that I could work to bring about what I actually want in life. I recognized that there were aspects of the relationship I had been dreading for some time. Anyways, it hasn't been all roses ever since, but I am grateful to you for your book and your worksheets. Thank-you.
Answer: Blessings on your process! I do not know if you have heard my Healing Through Relationships tapes or not, but the "Honeymoon Period" is designed to be eternal if we are willing to do our work. When we hold internal, hidden stresses and our partner triggers them, if we do not Forgive the root of those stresses, we "hook" those internal stresses into our brains image of them and then, our minds show us that they are the cause of our pain. Of course, the mind is lying to us, and we can totally know that it is our "stuff," but that alone, unfortunately, does not change the root of the problem. It takes the Forgiveness tool to undo those internal stresses, which are often inherited from previous generations.
From what you say, your "Power Person," probably Dad, probably was emotionally distant and here is the chance, once again to heal the pain about emotionally distant people and feeling victim to them. Your partner probably had a "Power Person," likely Mom, who was overwhelming for him. Getting into tools to heal those dynamics will be the topic of the Intensive. By the way, there is a new, more powerful version on the website that I think you will find will assist in taking you to the next level. It is so great how we gravitate (literally we have a gravitational, energetic field that pulls in what we need) to the people who provide our mutual healing opportunities - and if we learn to function out of Being (Love) instead of our "stuff," we end up with eternal, joyful, xciting lives and relationships!
Would a payment plan that breaks the cost of the Intensive into bite size pieces make in feasible to do? If so, I would be happy to work with you to come up with a plan that works and makes it doable. At this moment a work exchange for that Intensive is not possible.
Question: On Rookha d'Koodsha and ‘Forgiveness’
Email received: I attended several of your talks at … the summer before last and have been passing your blessing on to numerous people since. The story I end up telling (most often in my 12 step meetings) is how the forgiveness process was taught by Jesus, and what it meant two thousand years ago compared to today. Could you tell me the Aramaic term? was it "Rhoodka"? I think the biggest change in my life has been what feels like a positive upswing in my mental facilities (IQ) I have been totally amazed at how stupid I get when I allow fear and anger to invade my reality. It feels like my brain chemistry is evolving to a much higher loving state. I think I have a new addiction :) I have also been totally amazed to discover how often Love is not part of my frequency output, and how when it is, EVERYTHING'S appearance changes for the better. I am eternally grateful to you for this knowledge, keep up the GoOD work!
Answer: I hope this note finds you well, happy and having the best year yet of your Eternal Life! We are so delighted the work is impacting your life so much and that you are assisting the project of taking it to every mind on the planet!!
The word that has been translated 'Forgive' in Aramaic is 'Shbag,' which, properly translated means 'To cancel.' It has to do with unloading the drivers in the mind that keep our mind's generating realities based in hostility or fear, which, as you have noticed, compromise intelligence. The idea of the 'First Law' being the maintenance of Love as a primary condition in the mind certainly had nothing to do with religion, it is the most practical way in the world to keep the 'chemistry' of intelligence active in the mind!
The term Rookha d'Koodsha refers to the 'Super-processor,' so to speak, the 'Elemental Force' that, when invited into activity undoes the old realities based in hostility or fear. It is the term that has been translated in Greek as the 'Holy Spirit' but, in no way, shape or form, in the Aramaic, infers a disembodied spirit being.
An interesting aside on this topic is the way that the Greek translations appear to be designed to keep people in fear, the chemistry of a dull (and therefore controllable) mind. In Aramaic we are told that the denial of 'Rookha d'Koodsha' keeps us in unforgiveness, where the Greek translation tells us that the denial of the 'Holy Spirit' is the 'unforgivable sin!' I have worked with so many people over the years who live in terror of going to hell because they committed this errantly named 'unforgivable sin.' Such a tragedy!
Question: What is StillPoint? Is it explained on any of your DVDs?
Answer: StillPoint is the name of a breath process we teach in intensive workshops. It is a quite, gentle form of breathwork that honors the “Stillpoint” as the part in the process where the deepest work takes place. I have written little about it because it is an experiential process. StillPoint will be taught at every intensive scheduled at HeartLand, see Intensive Schedule.
Question: Inquiry from someone who attempted to experience an “emotional release process” with their mother facilitating them.
Answer: We are not certain what process you are referring to in your email but believe you were describing the stillpoint breathing/connected breath process. We will answer your inquiry based on that assumption. If what you experienced did not involve the breath, please give us more information on what you were instructed to do.
You asked for insight about temporary physical sensations of pain and numbness and disturbing mental images you experienced while being facilitated by your mother. First of all, I’d like to assure you that what you described is not uncommon. However, you were right in thinking that it’s best to be in the hands of someone more experienced in the process before attempting to process on your own or with someone new to the technique (at least for the first 10 sessions). An experienced facilitator can help you remain focused on the process and move through any temporary disturbing effects. As to your question about needing to see auras--no, it isn’t necessary for a facilitator see auras. Someone with that ability could provide an added dimension to the experience, perhaps, but it isn’t necessary. An experienced facilitator keeps you focused on the breath itself. The breath does the work.
The object of the process is not to get stuck in drama and trauma or superimpose a positive image over a deep negative issue. Experience has shown us that this isn’t what changes life patterns. The purpose of connecting the breath is to bring our energy field to a more natural state of vibration. It is a comparatively gentle way to move through resistance (blocks) and forgive or “untie” negative patterns in our unconscious mind that hold us in negative life cycles. Being freed of limits or blocks in this way helps us to harmonize with life and more fully express who we are.
As to the reality of past lives, we obviously don’t know anything for certain. We can hypothesize and speculate, but each person eventually must make his or her own decision about whether or not that is a logical reality for them. For what we are doing with the breath, it doesn’t matter. Wherever the beliefs and judgments buried in our subconscious mind come from, they affect our lives today. Using the breath to dismantle their negative effects will help us to function more consciously and with less “baggage.”
Although your therapist is not well versed in this particular process, her insight can, of course, assist you to handle specific issues that come to your awareness. In regard to using a close family member to help you, I would suggest (at least for the first 10 sessions) that you seek assistance from someone more detached from your personal life. Being with someone neutral can free you to express what’s happening without hesitation or withholding anything.
Question: I'm hopeful I can ask the following questions with more clarity now that some time has passed since we last talked.
1. In the face of someone else being triggered by my actions and not being fully clear about what is theirs and what is mine, I find myself doubting myself and my actions as well as leaning towards feeling responsible for their feelings. How can I speed up finding my truth in that situation and feeling clear about what is mine in the face of their inner confusion (that may be targeted at me)?
2. If someone blames me for an issue that is clearly not mine, what is the best way to react?
3. I am finding myself quite angry right now with a few issues between he and I that are meandering on unresolved. Namely, he triggers my belief that he can be judgemental and dismissing of ideas that are important to me but not to him. As a result, he can appear to act rather passive-aggressive by saying something agreeable to me and then doing whatever he wants. We have processed it a bit together, he's said that he is doing this, but he's also said there is a lot coming up for him and he needs time before he can see his own part in it more fully. However, the issue continues for me because my issues around being dismissed get triggered easily in the moment by his actions and I'm finding it hard to figure out how to handle the day-to-day interactions. I'm quite worried that I've forgotten how to love him as this encircles me! I am also leaning heavily towards blaming him, wanting to run, and feeling very much in CB-memory - so much so that I almost feel like I've found the issue that is the exception to everything you've taught us (ha- ha - I know that's not true - but boy it's a good one!). It's actually helping just to type this out to you - however, if you have any insights at all on this one - that would be great.
Answer: Looks like that issue of being responsible for another's reality went home with you! Why, you might almost think it was an inside job!!
1. Doubting yourself is a reality to be forgiven - probably a very old one that will be one of those 77 X 70 issues. And of course, the targeting is going in both directions. "If you could just own mine and fix them - all would be well!" - insane idea! Confusion, remember, is a step in the healing process - the undoing of the old, mixes with the new and ends up with confusion.
2. Don’t! To re-act is to do and act from the past and that is never appropriate! Act - consciously out of BEING! Forgive the reaction in you until you are just a space of Love - for yourself and him!
3. Your anger is a reality in the mind that has nothing to do with anyone who triggers it - it is an energy thst needs to be forgiven. I suggest you watch the Co-Dependence to Inter-Dependence video TOGETHER. Worksheets around “being dismissed”, “blaming him”, “running away”, “your CBM” and “worksheets not working”. Worksheets, Worksheets, Worksheets!!! And of course, you can’t LOVE him anyway! That is approval stuff! But you can forgive what in you takes you out of BEING - LOVE - and BE LOVE in his presence, no matter what he does!
We hold you in our hearts!
Response back after Answer: Wow - thanks so much for your feedback. I've reread your reply several times - it is so powerful to have your ideas reinforced when in the midst of being triggered and feeling confused. With others, we go far - true again! I appreciate your feedback and am taking it to heart - just reading it brought me to a lighter space and I feel more clarity about how to move forward and BE love.
Question: About unfairness.
“Please send light, love, and healing energy to the company employees and their families who were affected by the recent job cut. These past two days have been difficult for us. My heart is heavy after hearing the details of how it was carried out from a security guard who was involved. We were asked by management when the announcement was made to not talk to the press or to our friends and family about the layoff, but after hearing what happened from someone who witnessed the “carnage,” my heart breaks for the layoff employees and their families. I am also quite upset with the owner and upper management. This is the most disorganized and inefficient company that I’ve ever worked for. I personally like and respect the owner but seriously question his ability to lead and to select the right people to run his company. Please pray that upper management have the heart to do the right thing and pray that they will receive the wisdom that they need to make the right decisions to turn this company around. Please pray also for those of us who remain that we will be able to continue our employment here with our sanity and souls intact. Namaste
Answer: Yes corporations do crazy things due to poor management – and we definitely will hold everyone in the space of love for healing during this time…. However, remember, if you feel it then it is yours. “The owner” and “the management” and “this situation” are just your triggers. Look at your words in your email…they reflect what is inside of you that you need to face…you said • the days are difficult • your heart is heavy • your heart breaks • quite upset • sanity and souls in tact (yeah! you said this line in the positive and what you DO want) Please do worksheets on your three triggers and list the feelings (the list above) and look at the thoughts behind the feelings and what is the goal you hold for each. Cancel the goals…get reconnected to your BEING and see what is within you that holds to these. Let’s keep your heart light and intact, remain connected, and see the days as easy. How many times in your life has someone (individually or as a group or company) resonated these feelings? It sounds like victimhood and helplessness, which just adds energy to what you are focusing on, which is really what you don’t want. Change your mind and take your power back. When you are in the filter of BEING (Love) you will make choices that will serve you – if you are in hostility or fear then you will do behaviors you will later regret. Stand as the space and teach others how to do the same and see your circumstance change (at least your reality will be more accurate towards what is actually happening and you will be sane). Blessings to you my friend. With love and respect.
Return response to us: Thank you so much for your insights. You are right. When I focus on Love, my heart is light and the day is easy. I will do the worksheets to get rid of the thoughts behind the negative feelings. I am choosing Love, Life, Light, Peace, Laughter and I feel reconnected again! :- ) I am bcc: some of my friends to share your insights in case they find the worksheets helpful in dealing with their own triggers. I hope that it is alright with you.
Our return response: Yes it is absolutely fine – share the emails and all the tools – we will all heal together!
Question: I understand that on the higher path sex is not the focus of the relationship, and that on the lower path, sex can be a distraction for true intimacy. I can see myself at that point often and would like to move from there to the higher path instead. However, I don't understand the part about "no sex verses a celebration of the relationship". Can you tell me a bit more about this?
I have a spiritual partnership, we are both very supportive and understanding of each others growing and healing process. We both see that we each have issues with intimacy and not wanting to let people (even each other) get too close. I had been rojecting my own issues with intimacy onto him for a while now, until you pointed out to me the other day that I too have issues with intimacy. I thought all my issues were around rejection. That sure turned on a lightbulb for me! and it explains a lot. We discuss our issues together, and started doing worksheets together the other night.
Now...this is a difficult question for me to ask.., but how does one know if intercourse, after intimate and loving converstation, is avoiding further intimate discussion, or is conscious contact? I do know for sure when it has been true avoidance in the past, but now with everything that I have learned, I want to make it conscious contact...not avoidance. Is there more information written about "conscious contact with creative energy"? What does this look like? I don't recall anything in your book that talks about it.
Answer: On the upper path, instead of sex, physical intimacy becomes a celebration of relationship! It becomes a pathway to the Love of God when consciously engaged in. Anything can be used as a drug and if physical intimacy becomes a way to not feel instead of enhancing feeling - if it becomes a way to avoid saying what comes next instead of being the way to say what comes next. If there are thoughts and feelings less than Love that surface during intimacy, that is the time to acknowlege those houghts/feelings and join in consiously dedicating the energy generated out of the intimacy to healing what surfaces. Dedicate the energy to whatever you are about creating in your lives and removing the blocks to bringing it about. This would be the how of "conscious contact with creative energy." This is the first I have written on the subject.
Question: What “tool” do I use and when?
Answer: Toolboxes contain screwdrivers, hammers, pliers and all kinds of things….you use each of them at different times – sometimes together – but each with its specific purpose. The same with our tools. You can let go of your need to do them all at once and work them into your life gradually. A) The forgiveness worksheet is what we consider the “foundation” and should be used daily (michael says 5 a day for 40 days). If you go to Worksheets you will find the most recent forgiveness sheet (if you haven’t already found it) and the new version of chapter 24 which explains filling in the worksheet in detail. B) In relationships (even with yourself) use the Commitment to others and speak the “Commitment to Myself” daily. You’ll find all the commitments at this link My Commitment C) Then if you want to find your purpose in life (which is not punching a time clock) use the Purpose Worksheet. D) The Mind Goal Management is a daily worksheet to guide you in setting and cancelling daily goals. You should only set a goal you can accomplish in 24 hours. E) “Three Early Memories” and “When I Heal” go hand in hand and deal with relationship issues. F) “Co-Dependence to Inter-Dependence” is an advanced relationship worksheet. G) “MindShifters” is a super powerful way of digging in and bringing up the unconscious stuff. Together they make a whole package – individually they each work in different arenas in your life. Pick and choose moment by moment which one serves you and use them all. In an intensive people will ask “which tools” or “what do I do in this case…” and michael writes on the board “ALL OF THE ABOVE”
Watch and listen to our videos/audios as each of the above are covered in different DVDs and CDs – sometimes you have to watch the same one repeatedly for the information to really be understood – keep watching!
In Jeanie's View - Workshops is a link where you can read my viewpoint of each workshop – my reviews might direct you somewhat towards a particular starting point for using each of the tools. And do use each one – just give yourself some space and time for “building brain cells” and practice, practice, practice. And BREATHE!!!
Thank you for being willing to do your work. Blessings, Jeanie
Question: About changes to the longer 12 step worksheet. First in step 1 where it says “change my dis-integrative thoughts” and then in step 7 “if I am in pain, my thoughts are off-target, in error”.
Answer: I am glad you are doing worksheets and thanks for the feedback! Just as an explanation: 1. Once you recognize you live in an energetic world, relative to any energy system there are two qualities of energy – one that builds up is integrative and one that tears down is disintegrative or sin. Remember sin is an archery term that means “off the mark”. Your structure says ouch because it is telling you (it is the warning signal) there are energies there that do not belong. Most people want to shut off the pain - the warning system. Like cutting the alarm off and not addressing the fire that rages. Taking a drug to suppress the pain instead of dealing with the cause. So changing your disintegrative thoughts is changing the energy within that is sin – off the mark – less than love. 2. There was a lot of feedback about “If I am in pain then I am in error!” So this change is more reflective that your thoughts are off target and are in error. It is changing the identification with the error. What we do is not what we are! We are love and yes, we do a lot of “less than love” stuff but that is not who we are. Same as off God or off love. Off target is beyond off the mark – it is more like missing it all together – and is a separation from love (and God is love).
Michael has rewritten chapter 24 which explains the changes to the worksheet a little clearer. Go to Work It Out With Your Best Friend.