"There is a power that in Aramaic is called 'Rukha d'Koodsha.' It is defined as an elemental force in the mind that assists you in letting go of your errors and teaches you the Truth. It literally means the 'force for that which is proper' for us as humans. How about going ahead and asking now for that assistance?" He spoke the next step out loud and then grew very silent.
9B. I ask for help in letting go of my painful reality. (BREATHE)
"What is happening, Richard? Are you breathing?"
"I'm really feeling sad, overwhelming sadness and loss. At the same time it's a good sadness , if such a thing is possible. It almost feels like being washed. There is energy running through my hands, and my face is a little numb. I'm realizing that when I was a kid, I blamed my sister for how I was treated by my parents. It seems like I've been really unfair to her. I've taken it out on her all my life, and she was just a beautiful little kid. She didn't deserve what I've done to her and what I have continued to do to her all our lives. I've treated her like she was a nobody—the same thing I accused my parents and women of doing to me all my life!"
"Sounds like you could easily turn the abuse you've done to her on yourself. I'd suggest you be aware of that and live the commitment of being Loving, Gentle and Respectful with yourself."
"It doesn't feel like I deserve it. I hate myself. I've been pretty rotten to her." He was in self-pity.
"You've just uncovered your next few worksheets. I suggest you make a note for your journal or fill in Step 1A on some blank worksheets. You would benefit from a worksheet on 'deserving,' and on 'being rotten.' I think 'self-pity' would also be a productive topic on which you could do worksheets.
"I invite you to remember that the purpose of delving into these areas of your life is to recognize what you have done to yourself and others with your mind energy . One of the games of the human mind is to always reproduce its patterns and makeabuse look like a justifiable action. What I hear is that your reality 'someone is to blame and punishment is in order' has been resonated, and now that you see your sister's innocence, you are about to turn that reality on yourself. Remember, Richard, you are innocent, too.
"In the Aramaic Scriptures, the mind was called 'the Great Deceiver.' It could take any situation and justify projecting its old realities and its patterns on whatever happens. The task at hand is to bring Love into your mind and heal your tendency to abuse yourself or anyone else.