Work-it-out with your best friend

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"Do you see how the mind sets its trap? It is urgent in any healing circumstance to have a Law by which you act, a guidepost for decisions and behavior, or you will tend to fall into the trap of the mind. The Law to use is that of Love . You can't listen to the advice of an insane mind and make healing decisions."

Richard was dismayed. "I'm not insane right now, I'm just angry at myself."

"Recall the definition of insanity we discussed earlier? An insane mind is a mind without the condition of Love . The First Law is to keep that condition in your mind, whomever you think about, whatever happens! Your focus is on you right now, and you are ready to punish yourself for the error of a child who was in pain . You didn't understand what happened when a new baby came into your home—how could you? I would suggest you go back to Step 8 and reconnect your mind to Love before you take any other actions."

"Okay, I really want to get through this. It seems like such a waste, the way I've been with my sister for so many years."

"Great catch. Notice your words. Sounds like another good worksheet topic is 'wasted relationships.' It would be a good idea to make a note of that on your future worksheet list. Have 'wasted relationships' shown up anywhere else in your life?"

"Let me take just a minute and get centered in that Love connection, michael."

We sat silently for a moment and Richard's countenance changed. He seemed to settle a little and then spoke. "It feels as though every relationship I've ever had was a waste and I can see that I made the decision very early that relationships weren't safe. The Truth is, I think, that I wasn't safe. I've been so angry ever since I was a child. I'd snap at anybody for what appeared to be no reason. I now see clearly that I was hurting and wasn't going to let anyone get close enough to do it to me again! I can see my life drama is to be emotionally aloof and unavailable just as described in The Celestine Prophecy. It is clear that my attitude guaranteed I would be hurt over and over. The old saying, 'There are none so blind as those who will not see,' keeps coming to my mind. I've sabotaged my whole life!"

"Keep your breath open. You still have lots of life left. Let's tie what just came to the surface back to some of our earlier discussions. Recall you said the women in your life were warm and Loving at first, and then they became distant. You then found you couldn't seem to get close to them again. I realize your thoughts made it look like it was all them, but was that projection ? Notice your thoughts earlier were that they became distant. It sounds like it is you who becomes distant and then blames it on them."