Work-it-out with your best friend

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Step 4 is the act of acknowledging how you want to live. Recall we spoke about the power of words ? When word phrases show up with ease in our speech, it tends to be more natural to create those circumstances. The person who uses angry words will tend to easily find circumstances about which to be angry. The person who regularly uses peaceful speech will find peace comes easily. Our words reflect what we are attracting into our lives."

4. I am willing to live peacefully ( ), be happy ( ) and go through the symptoms of healing ( ).

"I recall what you said earlier about the symptoms of healing (Pages 135-136) and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to heal. It seems bizarre that I used to search for trouble purposely! I consciously, or maybe unconsciously, went looking for it! When I think about the language I used to describe myself, women, the body and intimate interaction, it is amazing I held a relationship together for even a week. I had no verbal respect for anything."

"Word patterns are structured in our minds at an early age. Becoming conscious of, taking charge and changing those patterns takes intelligence and commitment . A decent, intimate relationship is impossible if the words we use to describe ourselves, the body, the opposite sex or our relationships result in degrading feelings . In the Aramaic Scriptures, it was said that he who could rule his tongue was mightier than he who could take a city."

Richard admitted his language had been pretty "raunchy" for most of his life. He was identifying with the idea that his thoughts caused his feelings and decided he was ready to feel better about life, his body and those with whom he had relationships . He liked the idea of maintaining the condition of Love in his mind and took a break to do the exercise on restoring the space of Love . (Pages 71-72) He made a commitment to continue that exercise as a daily practice in his life.

"I do feel lighter than I have felt in a long time . I'm relieved. When I think about what is happening in my life, it seems as though I can handle it." He had a slight glow, and it was great to be part of and watch his transformation occur.

"So often, we turn the way we feel over to an outside source. It would be good to rid yourself of that habit. There are lots of people who want to run your mind—the media, advertisers, movies, governments, religious leaders—just about everyone. It's time to take our power back! I recall the words of George Washington Carver, the man who spawned the peanut industry. He suffered much abuse, yet retained awareness of who was in charge of his mind. His comment on self-control was, 'I will never allow any man to so defile my soul so as to cause me to hate him.'"

"You know, michael, there are a lot of sayings out there about what 'real men' do. It sounds like 'real men' are in charge of their own minds and lives and operate on Love ."