Work-it-out with your best friend

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Chapter 24 from WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME . . . AGAIN?!

View Sample Worksheet

 

"Where do I start?" Richard asked.

"The best place to start is to be clear on what you are doing and why you are doing it. The people who really use these worksheets tell me that they become the best friend they ever had. Note, the emphasis is on using the tool. What the process does is give you an opportunity to confront directly the parts

of your mind

and life that
don't work for you, the parts with which you might sabotage
yourself."

"I feel a little resistance to that thought, michael."

"You are not alone, nobody wants to feel their pain—until they understand."

"Understand what?" Richard asked.

"Pain takes its toll even when it is not consciously felt."

"How so?"

"Recall our discussion about pain ? Pain is the reflection of stored destructive energies. When people deny and restrict access to pain , the only thing they have accomplished is keeping it out of direct sight. Hidden or anesthetized pain is not removed from experience through denial or drugs. It is felt as the aches and pains of so called 'aging,' the twinge of emotional upset that floats in and out of our experience, the irrational outbreaks that destroy relationships , the 'accidents' that occur, headaches and body aches, degenerative dis-eases and the thousand irritations that subtract from the possible quality of life."

"There is an old saying that the brave die once, the coward a thousand times. When you are fortified with actual tools to face and heal whatever is hidden, trauma and pain are dismantled and removed from life. As you do this work, you will find your enjoyment of life, your sense of well-being and your aliveness increase in proportion to the amount of Forgiveness you do. In the past , if life was lived without tools, most found that facing an old trauma meant reinforcing it and being powerless to change. The True Forgiveness process changes all of that. Shift happens!! The issues of life
can be faced and healed."

"Okay, michael, I see the why of doing the Reality Management process , I'm not sure I understand the what."

"The what is simple. If someone triggers anger, fear, rage , hate, vengeance, gossip or any other dis-integrative reality in you, it is your opportunity to heal yourself—not by letting them off the hook, but by changing the pain producing reality in your mind."


"Whatever your experience of life is, every reality in your mind is changeable. You cannot directly change what happens in the outer world. People become frustrated and uptight when they continuously try to control life. The way to change the outer world is through indirect influence—by changing the realities in your mind you shift your whole energy field. When you do, the whole pattern of your life shifts and the ripple effect changes everything you attract. If abundance is your issue, pennies turn into dollars! The traditional translations of the Scriptures speak of the fall of man. In the Aramaic , that text refers not to a fall, but, instead says, 'man forgot how to live in abundance.' Heal the poverty realities in your mind, whatever the form of poverty—relationship, money, work, joy , health or abundance—and a change in outer circumstance is pulled in automatically through the Law of Resonance."

"Okay, I understand what it is we are about to do. Now I pick a topic? What kind of topics are fair game for a worksheet?"

"You can do a worksheet on any person, place, thing or event that resonates a painful reality in you. It can be a present moment event or something from your past or even a future, anticipated event. You can also use your own emotions or yourself as the subject of a worksheet."

"I could do a worksheet on conflict with women. I've had conflict with my mom, my sister and almost every woman with whom I've ever had a relationship , including waitresses!"

"That covers a lot of territory, Richard. I would suggest you be very specific and choose a mildly disturbing topic for your early worksheets. A narrowly defined subject will produce the best results," I recommended. "Also, Forgiveness, like any other skill, is developed through practice. The first time you use this tool, it is best to start with something a little easier than your biggest issue in life. Your lifelong issues tend to have a lot of unconsciousness attached to them, and it is best if you can start with something small enough that you can stay relatively conscious. As you build your strength through doing Reality Management Sheets, you can move to the bigger situations in your life."

"I suggest you keep a journal of your work and an ongoing list of 'worksheets to be done.' You will probably find it productive to do many sheets around your conflict with women."

He was deep in thought before he spoke. "A worksheet on being close to my sister, Amy, might be a good starting point. It seems being close to people is a little less of an issue than conflict with women, though that is still a fairly big issue for me."

"Normally I would suggest you wait until you have used the worksheets for a while before tackling that kind of issue. Since we are doing this together and you have support rather than doing it by yourself, let's go ahead and start by filling out the date and sheet number."


"I suggest you get a three ring binder and keep your worksheets in it. In the future, each time you look back at old sheets, they will give you new gifts and new insights. Step 1 on the sheet is about getting clear on the source of your reality . When you start each sheet with this reminder, it is easier to get past your projections of wanting to either blame others or yourself. Blame , aside from a way to give away your power, is an avoidance mechanism."

1. My reality is made with thoughts from my own mind. As I learn to change my thoughts, my reality will change. A. I seem to be upset because my trigger (write the name of the person, place, thing, or event) _________________ (__.__.) (Your initials) (write what has happened) ________________________________ ___________________________________________ (BREATHE)

1. My reality is made with thoughts from my own mind. As I learn to change my thoughts, my reality will change.

"I'm seeing more and more of the Truth of that thought, michael. It is actually starting to feel like an empowering idea. I'm realizing that reality is in my mind and it is changeable!"

" Step 1A acknowledges what seems to be true and gives you the space to write down your thoughts. If there is not enough room, use another piece of paper. Some people write the entire form out in longhand each time they do a worksheet. In the first blank, in 1A, you name the person, place, thing or event that triggers your disturbing or painful reality ."

"I put my sister, Amy, in this blank?" he asked.

"In this case, yes. If you did a worksheet on, let's say, your car not starting, 'car' would go there. If you were to do a sheet on the idea we processed earlier today, 'being stupid ,' that is what you would put in the first blank. Next, you place your own initials between the brackets as a reminder that this worksheet is about you and a reality in your mind. You then write a brief description of what you perceived as happening."

1A. I seem to be upset because (write the name of the person, thing or situation) my baby sister Amy ( R. S.) (write what has happened) was the favorite. (BREATHE)


1B. This triggers my feelings of ________________________________

"In the next blank, 1B, write your feelings . Be sure to use words that describe emotions, not thoughts. You can't feel like 'she was the favorite,' because that is a thought. Sometimes it is difficult to say what your feelings are, and the box on the right is a place to draw and describe them," I offered.

1B. This triggers my feelings of anger.

. "This is easier than I thought it would be, michael."

"Good, and the next step is a little more of a challenge. The idea with Step 1C is to identify the thought you use to cause your feelings of anger."

"I remember we talked about this earlier, but I'm not sure I quite get the idea yet. What does 'identify the thought I use to cause my anger' mean?"

"What thought, specifically, do you have to think in order to be angry about your sister being what you perceived as the favorite?" I asked.

1C. My thought that causes this feeling is _______________________ __________________________________________________

1C. My thought that causes this feeling is Amy had it easy, I never had it so good!

"That's a cinch. She had it easy, I never had it that good!" His voice went up a couple of octaves as he spoke. It was clear that his emotions were still right on the edge from the processing we had done earlier in the day. He had accomplished something uncommon for a man in our culture; he became safe enough to be open and vulnerable. "I'm still not quite sure how that thought causes my anger, though," Richard added.

"If you held the thought, 'How sweet, my sister had things so much easier than I did and I'm happy for her!' how would you feel?"


"Delighted, I guess." he answered.

"So, the actuality is the same. The only thing that changes for anger to become delight is the thought you think, right? Who suffers from your negative thoughts?" I queried.

"It's getting clearer for me that I'm the one who causes me to suffer and it boggles my mind that I do it so automatically." Richard paused as his thoughts jelled. "You know, michael, I understood this concept about two hours ago when we were talking and was amazed by the whole idea. Now, it's like I'm hearing the idea for the first time . I am understanding how my thoughts generate my feelings all over again, and it amazes me just as much now as two hours ago!"

"I can relate to that, Richard. It amazes me each time I teach it. Life works so differently from the way most of us were trained to think. An important question to ask is, 'Who is in charge of what you think and feel?'

"In the past it has been everybody but me! I am ready to take charge of my mind and be responsible for the thoughts I think. I'm grasping that my feelings are a result of my thoughts and the words I use. So I guess I'll also start taking full responsibility for them. I'm going to be more careful of the words I use and have more integrity in the way I act. Hopefully, all these things together will improve the results I produce in my life."

"Great! Step 1D is pretty straightforward. You simply describe what it is you want to do to punish the trigger in Number 1A. Punishment might be anything; a sneer, a degrading thought, leaving, or emotional, verbal or physical abuse ."

1D. I want to punish by _______________________________________ __________________________________________________________

1D. I want to punish by yelling and getting rid of Amy.

"Step 2 is a reminder that punishment and blame are not your friends, they are a ball and chain. They may bring relief in the short term, but the consequences are always destructive to your physiology, the way your mind works and your happiness!"

"Can a little anger really hurt you that much?" Richard was definitely not convinced.

"I'm not sure how to tell the effects of a 'little' anger, but I suspect if we were to quantify it we would find that anger is one of the major destructive forces to the body. We are so good at suppressing , we don't usually have the opportunity to directly confront the effects of our feelings until it is too late and we are facing a major degenerative condition.


"Let's look at Step 2, where you acknowledge that:

2. Punishment and blame are not my friends. I now choose to be responsible ( ).(BREATHE)

"Remember, the mind always believes it's right. In Step 3, it is time to put aside being right and acknowledge that even if you are right, the way you are feeling is self-destructive and it is time to let go of those feelings ."

"Wait a minute, michael, this sounds like I have to give in to people even when I know they are wrong. Being a doormat doesn't sound any more appealing than having destructive energies rolling around inside of me."

"Remember, Richard, this is about healing the destructive energies we carry AND holding others accountable for their behaviors. Through Forgiveness, we will be able to hold others and ourselves accountable from a clear, functional mind and Loving space that supports relationship rather than creating separation.

"As you fill in the blank with your answers from Step 1, check off the boxes and at the same time think the release thought or speak it out loud, if practical."

3. I want to feel better. I let go of —my feelings (1B)( ) —my thought (1C)( ) —my need to punish by (1D)( ) —and my need to be right ( ) (BREATHE)

3. I want to feel better. I let go of my feeling of (1B) anger - my thought that (1C) Amy had it easy, I never had it so good! I let go of my need to be right and punish by (1D) yelling and getting rid of her.

"Why would I want to release my thoughts?" Richard asked.

"If you inflict pain on yourself with a thought, you let go of it so you can heal. If there is rage or fear in you as a result of that thought, it is your work to heal the rage and fear. Remember, you get the original, she gets the carbon copy. Many of us have been taught we need to be angry to get what we want. In Truth, getting what you want is easier to create from a space of peace and clarity than from a space of anger. You also get to release the stress of the anger held in your body and achieve higher states of health and aliveness in the process . Health is not the condition of being free of symptoms . In this work we define Health as the state of Conscious, Active, Present Love. An absence of that state is dis-ease and the beginning of all organic degeneration.

"Other benefits of letting go of disturbing thoughts are that you will have peace of mind and your mind will no longer need to create scenarios that justify your being angry." He seemed satisfied that these ideas made sense and relaxed more with each step of the worksheet. The resistance that had shown up time and again earlier in the day vanished. I think it was a relief for both of us. Working with someone who is willing certainly is easier."


Step 4 is the act of acknowledging how you want to live. Recall we spoke about the power of words ? When word phrases show up with ease in our speech, it tends to be more natural to create those circumstances. The person who uses angry words will tend to easily find circumstances about which to be angry. The person who regularly uses peaceful speech will find peace comes easily. Our words reflect what we are attracting into our lives."

4. I am willing to live peacefully ( ), be happy ( ) and go through the symptoms of healing ( ).

"I recall what you said earlier about the symptoms of healing (Pages 135-136) and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to heal. It seems bizarre that I used to search for trouble purposely! I consciously, or maybe unconsciously, went looking for it! When I think about the language I used to describe myself, women, the body and intimate interaction, it is amazing I held a relationship together for even a week. I had no verbal respect for anything."

"Word patterns are structured in our minds at an early age. Becoming conscious of, taking charge and changing those patterns takes intelligence and commitment . A decent, intimate relationship is impossible if the words we use to describe ourselves, the body, the opposite sex or our relationships result in degrading feelings . In the Aramaic Scriptures, it was said that he who could rule his tongue was mightier than he who could take a city."

Richard admitted his language had been pretty "raunchy" for most of his life. He was identifying with the idea that his thoughts caused his feelings and decided he was ready to feel better about life, his body and those with whom he had relationships . He liked the idea of maintaining the condition of Love in his mind and took a break to do the exercise on restoring the space of Love . (Pages 71-72) He made a commitment to continue that exercise as a daily practice in his life.

"I do feel lighter than I have felt in a long time . I'm relieved. When I think about what is happening in my life, it seems as though I can handle it." He had a slight glow, and it was great to be part of and watch his transformation occur.

"So often, we turn the way we feel over to an outside source. It would be good to rid yourself of that habit. There are lots of people who want to run your mind—the media, advertisers, movies, governments, religious leaders—just about everyone. It's time to take our power back! I recall the words of George Washington Carver, the man who spawned the peanut industry. He suffered much abuse, yet retained awareness of who was in charge of his mind. His comment on self-control was, 'I will never allow any man to so defile my soul so as to cause me to hate him.'"

"You know, michael, there are a lot of sayings out there about what 'real men' do. It sounds like 'real men' are in charge of their own minds and lives and operate on Love ."


"Step 5 is designed to restore Love to your mind and confirm that you have done it successfully. If hostility or fear remains active you will not be able to see what you Love about a person or situation. When you can see what you Love, it is because the condition of Love is in your mind. When the condition of Love is in your mind, then."

5. I choose to restore the condition of LOVE to my mind ( ). Self-test — a LOVING thought I can feel about (1A) is _____________________________________________

5. I choose to restore the condition of Love to my mind. Self-test—a Loving thought I have about (1A) is Amy was my friend and still reaches out to me often.

He looked a little sad as he processed how he had pushed his sister away. Richard touched into a deep Love for her that had been long since lost in his childhood hostility.

"Take a breath, Richard. Let's go on to Step 6 where you identify what you want. It is important in this step to make sure you use only words that reflect what you actually want."

"You mean words like 'What I really want is not to be angry at Amy.' Is that an appropriate answer in Step 6?" he asked.

6. What I really want is (use positive words only) _____________________________________________

"What is it you want? You sound like you are really clear on what you don't want, but the more you don't want it the more powerfully you will create it in your world."

"How so? I don't see what's wrong with what I said?"

"It's not a matter of being wrong. Remember, focusing is a creative act and your words reflect what you are creating. What you focus on is what you create. When you focus on what you don't want you create out of avoidance and automatically create what you are avoiding. It does not matter whether you focus on something out of Love or out of hate—if you thought it, you got it!"

"How would you suggest I word what I want, michael?"

"Sounds to me like you want to be Loved and appreciated as much as your sister."

"That's it! That's what I want!" Emotion welled up as he thought about the possibility of actually being loved and appreciated as he said his sister had always been.

6. What I really want is (use positive words only) to be loved, appreciated and cared for as much as Amy.

Richard agreed that he could see the difference in the energy he was putting out with the two different thoughts about what he wanted. He was particularly impressed by the change in the way he felt as he switched back and forth from what he wanted to his avoidance thought, "I don't want to be angry with Amy."

"I'm amazed as I pay attention," Richard said, "how each of those thoughts affect the way I feel. You said I would be more sensitive to my feelings if I refrained from smoking and drinking coffee. Could there be that much of a shift in my awareness after leaving nicotine and caffeine alone for just a few hours?" he inquired. I let him know that I thought that could make the difference but it was probably a combination of factors, including the fact that he had processed through a lot of emotion and cleared lots of baggage out of his mind today. "


"Step 7 is an acknowledgment of personal responsibility . It is the step of growing out of long-held childhood fantasies and taking responsibility for the output of your own mind. Only you cause you to feel. Every thought reflects a choice, therefore, every feeling is a choice."

7. I am not upset at this person, place, thing or event but by a reality inside of me. If I’m in Pain, I’m in Error.

"Step 8 offers the opportunity to distinguish between responsibility and the mind's cheap copy, blame . It's time , Richard, to decide what your source is—blame or Love . Time to look at what really causes your pain and recognize that every reality output from your mind follows a pattern."

"Been there, done that!" he exclaimed. "Blame hasn't worked for me. I'm ready to go another route. I'm ready to use Forgiveness to change every pattern."

8. I take responsibility, not blame, for all of my realities. Every reality in my mind is changeable. I now choose to connect with LOVE instead of my upset ( ).(BREATHE)

"Step 9 is the core of the Forgiveness process . Write your answer, what you want from Step 6, in the blank in Step 9. Recall, in Aramaic , the word 'forgive' means to cancel . Can you cancel the people in your life? Can you cancel your life? Can you cancel today? No, but you can always cancel what you want out of a situation. Doing this sets up your mind to process through the unconsciousness around your worksheet issue."

9. A. I cancel — let go of — my need (6) B. I invite _________ to incline me toward healing ( ), restore me to LOVE ( ), assist me in keeping LOVE present ( ) and help in letting go of my painful reality ( ).(BREATHE)

9A. I cancel—let go of—my need (6) to be loved, appreciated and cared for as much as my sister.

Richard balked a little at doing this. "Why would I cancel what I want? That seems ridiculous, michael. I deserve to have what I want. You said that yourself."

"I agree with you. You do deserve to have what you want! I also acknowledge you as a powerful creator. Why haven't you created what you want?"

"I-I don't know," he stammered. "No one has ever cared for me and appreciated me the way I wanted to be. That has always been the problem in my relationships with women—they are affectionate for a while and then become distant. I'm not sure I quite understand it yet, but I cancel my need to be Loved, appreciated and cared for as much as my sister."

"Is it possible, Richard, you acquired that belief when you were a child? Did your actions with women drive them away and is that what caused intimacy to disappear? The result you produce is that you get to prove, over and over again, you are not Lovable!"

Tears were flowing from Richard's eyes as, once again, feelings welled up from deep inside of him. A quiet sob filled the room as he spoke. "Why am I not Lovable? What is wrong with me? It feels like I've never known what it is to feel Loved, so I've become calloused in order not to feel the pain . It seems so deep, like a dark hole that can never be filled."

"Keep breathing," I suggested gently. You are accessing hidden places in yourself, places that your personality structure helps you to keep out of awareness. It is safe to access those places and move what is locked within. Remember to hold the space of Love , that is where the healing happens. In Step 9B, you get the chance to ask for assistance in moving through whatever comes to the surface as you forgive."

"What do you mean?"


"There is a power that in Aramaic is called 'Rukha d'Koodsha.' It is defined as an elemental force in the mind that assists you in letting go of your errors and teaches you the Truth. It literally means the 'force for that which is proper' for us as humans. How about going ahead and asking now for that assistance?" He spoke the next step out loud and then grew very silent.

9B. I ask for help in letting go of my painful reality. (BREATHE)

"What is happening, Richard? Are you breathing?"

"I'm really feeling sad, overwhelming sadness and loss. At the same time it's a good sadness , if such a thing is possible. It almost feels like being washed. There is energy running through my hands, and my face is a little numb. I'm realizing that when I was a kid, I blamed my sister for how I was treated by my parents. It seems like I've been really unfair to her. I've taken it out on her all my life, and she was just a beautiful little kid. She didn't deserve what I've done to her and what I have continued to do to her all our lives. I've treated her like she was a nobody—the same thing I accused my parents and women of doing to me all my life!"

"Sounds like you could easily turn the abuse you've done to her on yourself. I'd suggest you be aware of that and live the commitment of being Loving, Gentle and Respectful with yourself."

"It doesn't feel like I deserve it. I hate myself. I've been pretty rotten to her." He was in self-pity.

"You've just uncovered your next few worksheets. I suggest you make a note for your journal or fill in Step 1A on some blank worksheets. You would benefit from a worksheet on 'deserving,' and on 'being rotten.' I think 'self-pity' would also be a productive topic on which you could do worksheets.

"I invite you to remember that the purpose of delving into these areas of your life is to recognize what you have done to yourself and others with your mind energy . One of the games of the human mind is to always reproduce its patterns and makeabuse look like a justifiable action. What I hear is that your reality 'someone is to blame and punishment is in order' has been resonated, and now that you see your sister's innocence, you are about to turn that reality on yourself. Remember, Richard, you are innocent, too.

"In the Aramaic Scriptures, the mind was called 'the Great Deceiver.' It could take any situation and justify projecting its old realities and its patterns on whatever happens. The task at hand is to bring Love into your mind and heal your tendency to abuse yourself or anyone else.


"Do you see how the mind sets its trap? It is urgent in any healing circumstance to have a Law by which you act, a guidepost for decisions and behavior, or you will tend to fall into the trap of the mind. The Law to use is that of Love . You can't listen to the advice of an insane mind and make healing decisions."

Richard was dismayed. "I'm not insane right now, I'm just angry at myself."

"Recall the definition of insanity we discussed earlier? An insane mind is a mind without the condition of Love . The First Law is to keep that condition in your mind, whomever you think about, whatever happens! Your focus is on you right now, and you are ready to punish yourself for the error of a child who was in pain . You didn't understand what happened when a new baby came into your home—how could you? I would suggest you go back to Step 8 and reconnect your mind to Love before you take any other actions."

"Okay, I really want to get through this. It seems like such a waste, the way I've been with my sister for so many years."

"Great catch. Notice your words. Sounds like another good worksheet topic is 'wasted relationships.' It would be a good idea to make a note of that on your future worksheet list. Have 'wasted relationships' shown up anywhere else in your life?"

"Let me take just a minute and get centered in that Love connection, michael."

We sat silently for a moment and Richard's countenance changed. He seemed to settle a little and then spoke. "It feels as though every relationship I've ever had was a waste and I can see that I made the decision very early that relationships weren't safe. The Truth is, I think, that I wasn't safe. I've been so angry ever since I was a child. I'd snap at anybody for what appeared to be no reason. I now see clearly that I was hurting and wasn't going to let anyone get close enough to do it to me again! I can see my life drama is to be emotionally aloof and unavailable just as described in The Celestine Prophecy. It is clear that my attitude guaranteed I would be hurt over and over. The old saying, 'There are none so blind as those who will not see,' keeps coming to my mind. I've sabotaged my whole life!"

"Keep your breath open. You still have lots of life left. Let's tie what just came to the surface back to some of our earlier discussions. Recall you said the women in your life were warm and Loving at first, and then they became distant. You then found you couldn't seem to get close to them again. I realize your thoughts made it look like it was all them, but was that projection ? Notice your thoughts earlier were that they became distant. It sounds like it is you who becomes distant and then blames it on them."


Richard swelled with emotion again. "I can't believe what I've done—and I've beat everyone else up for what I've been doing to them all my life. I don't know if I can handle this."

"There is nothing to handle. True Forgiveness is not something you do. You simply open the door, and if you allow it to remain open Love does the rest. Just breathe and the energy will move. Remember—healing happens!" Several moments passed as Richard went through waves of emotion.

"What do I do with all of these feelings?" "

Just be with them. It is safe to feel everything inside you. Your job is to open the door and hold the space. Think of our earlier definition of processing . It is the capacity to hold Love Conscious, Active and Present when anything less than Love surfaces. You've gotten in touch with some of the issues that your mind hides. You opened the space for that to happen when you canceled or Forgave your need for what you wanted. This is the result of True Forgiveness!

"By canceling, you allowed the file in your mind that kept issues hidden from your awareness to open. When these issues surfaced and were exposed to Love , the Truth became available to you and you began to let go—heal—these long-held painful realities . This is how healing looks! You will no longer have to carry these burdens. Your life will change as a result of the process you just went through. I stress , as strongly as I can, that this is the effect of canceling your need for what you want, which is the key to opening the whole healing process !"

Richard regained his composure. "Where did that come from? I didn't expect such a powerful upheaval. Do I feel relieved! I'm going to think about this for a long, long time . I don't know what to say, I'm a little embarrassed."

"Sounds like another worksheet. I support you in letting go of embarrassment. What you just went through is right on target. It's what our culture inhibits us from doing, especially as men— looking at, feeling and dealing with the insanity we go through in life. Our culture has warned us not to open 'Pandora's Box,' but they did not tell us that if we never look into and clean out Pandora's Box our lives will become like its contents. Can you see how the theme of what you have just uncovered has run through your whole life?"

"It has not run through my whole life, michael, it has run my whole life. That experience and the decisions I made to protect myself from getting hurt again have been at the root of every relationship interaction I have ever had! I'm ready to re-create my life differently. It is safe to Love and I'm going to do it! Nothing can stop me now!"


"Richard, I might suggest you look at the words , 'Nothing can stop me now.' Recall the discussion about creating out of avoidance? What your words just said is that you are getting ready to set something up to stop you."

"Don't be so literal. That's not what I meant."

"I know that's what you believe but your words reflected avoidance, and your words always precede your creations. At this moment it sounds like I'm being picky, but I'm reflecting back to you where your reality structure is taking you. Your words are the indicator. Words reflect the energies with which we organ-ize our bodies and our world. You've just had a powerful opening and insight, but there is still work to be done. Might I suggest you rephrase your intention to something such as, 'It is safe to Love and I'm going to do it! Everyone, including myself, supports me in having Loving, connected relationships , especially with women and particularly with my sister!'

"In the Aramaic, you have just been born into a new kingdom, a new level of insight. It is exciting, but you have a whole genetic and life history that is going in another direction. Your mind has a store of realities that is inertia bound. Your reality structure will tend to keep you going in its direction, rather than this new way, as soon as it's back in the driver's seat. Your words indicate it is sneaking back in already, and that is as it should be."

"What do you mean 'as it should be'?! I don't want to go back to that old way. I'm ready to move on. I like this new way of thinking and being, and I can hardly wait to tell everyone I meet about it!"

"Be aware that not everyone is going to want to hear what you have to say. Recall when you first called me you thought it would be a waste of time to get together? Remember the 'don't storm the gates' warning? Just be aware that you have work to do and the Forgiveness process has just begun. There will be other layers of this and other old realities based on the childhood experience you just uncovered that are still to come forward for healing. Those old realities will attempt to convince you they are true, but only because that is what you have trained them to do."

"I'm committed! What do I do?" Richard beamed.

"First, I suggest a commitment of five written worksheets a day for the next forty days. As you have just observed, the worksheets put you in touch with your unconscious dynamics. They initiate healing. In the Scriptures, the unconscious is called the 'desert' or the 'heart.' Forty days in the desert is very powerful . Recall in the Scriptures they said, 'Take care the heart for out of it are the issues in life'? Notice how the unconscious dynamic just uncovered has set up the issues in your life."

"It's pretty clear to me right now, but doesn't this put an end to it? I mean we already did a worksheet on this issue. Shouldn't it be over?" Richard asked hopefully.

"No, it's not usually that easy, but it is possible. The Master Teacher of the True Forgiveness process suggested it might require seventy-seven times seventy worksheets to clear up any given issue. In the Scriptures, seven is the number of completion and a zero added to that number is infinity. This means that you may do an infinite number of worksheets until you are complete with an issue. The real work begins now!


"Transforming all of the old dynamics in the mind is a process that takes time . Recall there are years of old experiences, and generations of beliefs and insane interactions to overcome—aeons of what was called 'wandering in the desert.' This work is the core of the Scriptural teaching that was veiled and available only to those who had the 'eyes to see and the ears to hear.'"

"I didn't know what I was getting myself into, michael, but I'm glad I came. I'll do my work and teach it to others."

"Great! Once you realize what there is to be done, what else is there to do? Let's cover the last step on the Reality Management Sheet and we can close for now."

"I want to be at the support team intensive next summer. How do I arrange that?"

"Let's talk about that later and look at Step 10, which you've already done, then complete Step 11."

10. I now feel _________________ and I can see that __________________________________________________

10. I now feel many different emotions; feel cleansed and relieved and I can see that my sister didn't deserve my hostility and neither did I. I can see that I have lots of work to do and it's safe to look inside me and feel my feelings.

"It feels like I could write a novel on the insights that are coming from the few hours of work we have done and this one worksheet. Where does it stop? I didn't believe anything so powerful could ever happen to me."

"Writing a book on your work today is a great idea, Richard! I remind you that what you have done is a process and there are highs and lows . When lows come remember the thought, 'This too shall pass,' and it will ; it can take up to three days if you do your work. I would suggest you put everything you are thinking into a journal and keep rereading it. It will be fertile ground for future insights and worksheet topics.

"In the final step of the Reality Management Sheet , you purposely look for the Love in the subject of your sheet and focus on what you want to create with them. Be clear that your focus is on exactly what you want from the situation."


11. I am grateful and join with the LOVE in you (1A). _______________ I acknowledge us for creating TRUTH ( ), PERFECT LOVE ( ) and _________________( ).(BREATHE)

11. I join with the LOVE in you (1A) Amy and I'm willing to have a close, warm relationship with you and to be emotionally available. I will communicate honestly with you and be responsible for what comes up in me. (BREATHE)

"Relief and hope are what I feel now. It seems I've learned so much about myself—more than I've learned in my whole lifetime! What can I do for you, michael?"

"Richard, there is a principle in physics called critical mass. It is the threshold point where a seemingly small action transforms a large mass. Without charge to the sponsor, we accept every invitation possible to speak to groups. We present our travel workshops free and invite people to copy and give away our materials so that our work is available without regard to the ability to pay. We do these things as our contribution to creating critical mass with these tools.

"Doing your work and sharing it with others will add energy to our family's commitment to deliver these tools to every mind on the planet and is the greatest gift you could give us. We also invite you to support this work financially or in any other way you can. There is always work to be done at HeartLand and the donation of materials and/or labor is always welcome. Of course, doing and passing on the work is most important.

"I believe a precious opportunity was missed two thousand years ago to heal a suffering, wounded humanity. It was our chance to regain our sanity , our dignity, and to function again as human beings. Recalling that Love of Truth is the healer ofblockage of Truth , I trust its transforming power . I believe that each mind wants to and will shift to the most rewarding way of living possible, once the possible is seen. The question is who will break through to the critical mass, who will make the possible available to humanity? Consider the following story by an unknown author."

Will You Make the Difference?!

"Tell me the weight of a snowflake," a hawk asked a wild dove. "Nothing more than nothing," was the answer. "In that case I must tell you a marvelous story," said the hawk. "I sat on the branch of a fir, close to its trunk. It began to snow. Not heavily, not a raging blizzard, no, just like in a dream, without any violence . Since I had nothing better to do, I counted the snowflakes settling on the twigs and needles of my branch. Their number was exactly 3,741,952 when the next snowflake dropped onto the branch—'nothing more than nothing' as you say—and the branch broke off." Having said that the hawk flew away.

The dove, since Noah's time an authority on peace, thought about the story for a while and finally said with resolve, "PERHAPS ONLY ONE PERSON'S VOICE IS LACKING FOR PEACE TO COME ABOUT IN THE WORLD."

"Richard, the next time someone resonates a reality less than Love in your mind, will yours be the voice for peace?"

 

 


 

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